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I don't have anything new to complain about so why not complain about the same crap all over again in a another way?

See? I'm thinking outside the box.

But Fuzzle, is this going to be some more TV rantings?

oh you sillies....YES OF COURSE!

So VH1 has another brilliant little gem.
What could it be?
Get this, no seriously...Your not going to believe it...its a crazy new concept.
Its this thing called a "REALITY SHOW" (Re-al-ity show) and it has to do with......................dating! O_O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_aniCCjs2M

I know its crazy, but I think this is the future of television. What more could us, (the American TV viewing public) possibly want? I mean its a show...Where some guy we barely know proclaimed to be an expert of the art of dating/picking up, teaches us poor 40-year old virgins how we can pick up some hot chicks and score. Its really a heart warming family centered, down to earth show, giving us a taste of a form of reality we can all relate too. Yes, my pathetic days of respecting women, looking for a decent girl, waiting till marriage for sex, and being an all around good guy ARE OVER MY FRIEND! I have been enlightened by the brilliance, the magnificence, the truly social gods of the planet....VH1's "The Pickup Artist".

Yes, because we all know that getting a girl to like you has nothing to do with you or your lame ole personality...Its this guy in a drag outfit giving me pickup tips on how to get a generic looking blonde girl sitting up at the bar drinking a Samuel Adams (always a good decision) to have sex with me and cure me of my wussy, undeserving, questionably homosexual virgin lifestyle.

Who needs a cute girl who treats you nicely, when you can have a cheap floozie who makes you feel like [censored] if you don't have psychic abilities to help you read their minds and say exactly the right thing at exactly the right moment, all the time. I know I couldn't move on with my life if a hooters girl disaproved of me and how I live my life, which happens to be, happily, without the need for sex sex sex, alcohol, sex, and basically everything you see in reality tv trash.

Where would I be without being graced by the presence of a bi*chy strippers, wearing tight jeans and a shirt that emphasized cleavage to that of the grand canyon, constantly on my case, constantly judging me, and constantly thinking she is superior to me in all ways. No I'm sorry Womens Deodorant Commercials, You aren't better then men. Especially at changing tires, (that commercial was stupid).

I'm so happy we decided that being a Virgin was pathetic and made you a big fat gay nerd in your parents basement. Yes, who needs morals when you can have MTV, VH1, and drunk party girls.

Well enough of that.
Who is the crap bag that invented hair dying? That guy must be one rich mofo. I mean EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD dyes their hair blonde, this guy must have a fortune! And just when you think he couldn't get richer, once the girls decide they no longer want to be blonde, THEY DYE IT BLACK! Now hes raking in the cash! BUT THEN! they decide, screw that, I'll throw in some purple highlights! This guy must be swimming around in gold coins like Scrooge Mc. Duck.

I mean who needs originality...its overrated. We aint's be needin all kindsa uniqueness and differences...who wants that? Obviously we just want 50 girls, with 4 breasts each, slobbering all over us in massive orgies.

Did you know that all men want to cheat? Its true, its encoded into our D.N.A. Its called the "I'm a douche bag" Gene.

You know what is just fantastic?
Those over dramatized black and white scenes in informercials giving you an accurate representation of what you used to hassle with in the past. With all those bulky cables, dirty vacuum bags, and heavy lifting.
I mean it is just ridiculous to the max. Apparently, everything on this planet, is too heavy. If its an ironing board, or a vacuum, apparently, nobody can lift it. Somehow everyone will lift it or try to carry the thing up stairs like they are cliffhanging from a mountain in a dramatic moment from "I shouldn't be alive".

Everyone has lower back problems. I don't care what your selling, someone has lower back problems, and their product helps. I watch these and think, people back in the day would be disgusted with us and how wussy we are. We seriously complain about trying to get a vacuum up stairs? YOUR NOT 75 YEARS OLD! the women in these re-enactments are like 25 or 30...Lift some weights you nancies. Its just so funny, they say "don't hassle with all those cables" and then you see some guy in black and white completely covered and wrapped up in a cable from an iron. I swear, and I'm not making it up, I saw one where they showed how we used to deal with big bulky vacuums...and the vacuum was literally bigger then the person. I mean seriously...It was some mega giant vacuum. And why can't people cut tomatoes? "Stop trying to cut vegetables with your dull knives", then they show someone like mashing it with their fingers and hammering the Tomato with a knife. If your too stupid to figure out how to cut a tomato, you shouldn't be handling sharp objects.

There is never any innovation with infomercial products. You will see one, two, or three new products like a steam cleaner, an air purifier, and a mop....and then a hundred new ones will follow as cheap knock offs. They give you an hour long explanation as to why their tiny modification will save you thousands and how its such an improvement.

Thats a trend in everything lately. Someone creates one thing, and then a ton of other companies come out with the same exact thing, but sell it like its the newest innovation. Do you know how many freaking steamers I've seen? I get it...steam cleans things!

Why the hell are their so many freaking new TV series? 90% are Reality crap that nobody cares about. I mean its all about the most shallow, boring, stupid concepts ever devised, and they use the same bull crap editing to make it look like something interesting actually happens. Reality TV is as fake as a sitcom. Holy CRAP!!!! Do I hate reality TV.

www.tv-links.co.uk

Go their, you will find a ton of your favorite old shows. Now compare that with todays TV. Their was some GREAT tv not but 5-10 years ago. I can't freaking wait till this Reality TV trash is finally dead and we can move on.

TLC is ONLY shows about Home Renovation, they are all the same, little twists, different Hosts.

UPN is all about black comedies, and they are never any good.

FOX Is a mixed bag. Its either a New sitcom from some comedian, a reality show, or a movie style action series.

A & E seems to be all about documentaries.

MTV is all just trash that sells their political messages.

VH1 Is some music, but its mostly trashy reality shows.

Comedy Central is fun for shows like "comedy central presents..." but after that its just disgusting tasteles roasts of celebrities I hate, and an advertisement spot for Girls Gone Wild.

Court TV is great for Crime Drama documentaries, Cops, and Those worlds wildest videos.

ScFi Channel just has HORRIBLE movies that nobody has ever heard about, probably from low budget kids in their back yard.

Discovery is great, but often kind of boring.

The History Channel offers some pretty entertaining insight into the past.

Cartoon Network is a sack of crap with no real attempt at making quality cartoon shows.

Nickelodeon/the N/ Nick Junior is MTV for kids at one point, Horribly bad mind numbing garbage for kids at another, Entertainingly awesome episodes of Spongebob for 1 hour, followed by VH1 style party segments between the show and commercials in which someone gets slimed, and crappy cartoons the rest.

TBS is great for old great sitcoms like Seinfeld and King of Queens

I've ran out of energy...So I can't think of anything more to complain about.

But Fuzzle, can't you be happy about something for once?

Yes of course. Bunnehs :3 I love those bunnehs, and I love snuggling, and day dreaming about those awesomely sweet and adorable moments that I could share with my bunneh ^_^

I happen to like the SciFi Channel. Okay, part of that is because they have such horrible movies, but I tend to find awful things to be amusing. I figure that they throw money at anyone willing to make a science fiction movie or show because, who knows, it might actually be good (maybe; it's possible, if even just barely), and this way at least someone's making science fiction.


Provided you want to see things about Hitler. :P We joked it should be renamed, being as World War Two, and Hitler in specific, will take weeks of programming all by their lonesome.


King of Queens is an old sitcom? How long have I been without TV that this came about? What are the qualifications for a television program to be old?


But Fuzz, how will you acquire a bunneh without the time-proven, satisfaction guaranteed results of the Pickup Artist? :P

omg too many words..... uhhh ya i agree with everything *cough* that you mentioned *cough cough*

I like the scifi channel - not the horrible horror movies- but the action scifi COMEDY stuff. Stargate, Farscape (which they show sometimes - awesome show - everyone should watch it-- its over now, been over for a while... Ive got it all on DVD...), Eureka is pretty cool sometimes, Battlestar is great Scifi drama, Firefly- another amazing show, and lets see- what else- oh really really late they have on things like Special Unit 2 - which was an old show on UPN or FOX about monsters and a special unit that kills em- like men in black but with monsters instead of aliens. You have your smart girl and gun happy guy as partners... Oh and John Doe - a guy who has no clue who he is - but knows practically everything else. He knows stuff like every average temperature for ever city on earth during every season, all the contents of any alcoholic beverage, he can even tell the exact volume of a jar, where it was made and everything about it... But he has no idea what he likes or doesnt like (in many cases he eats something new every day and writes down if he likes it or not so he doesnt forget) interesting show- he helps solve murders etc...

Sure - they show crappy movies like spiders in space- and Konga, but sometimes they show Army of Darkness and such... And every so often they have a really good mini series or movie - like that Earthsea was pretty good and so was-- ok well there arent many....

Sci-fi has all those great shows, but rarely ever plays half of them. I've only ever seen SU2 on twice, I saw Firefly on it once a couple of months ago, and I didn't even know they played John doe. :O But nevertheless, those are all awesome shows.

History Channel doesn't only do the historical stuff, though (though, avwolf, you're totally right about the Hitler thing...I can always tell when it's around the anniversary of D-Day...). They have Modern Marvels and Ice Road Truckers!! Both of which are great shows. Ice Road Truckers looks and sounds stupid, but when you watch it, it's actually really cool.

Fuzzle, I think that you should take to watching Food Network. You get what you expect, and it's quality stuff. It's also strangely addicting. And at night, they do all sorts of fun shows, like The Secret Life of [Insert Food Here], or Sugar Rush, and Good Eats, and food competitions. It's fab :)

I love the Food channel. Helps that I really enjoy cooking! Iron Chef is always great too.

I do watch the Food Channel.

Good Eats

Secret Life of...

Unwrapped

Iron Chef

The occasional cook off challenge that makes me wish I could eat that kind of food.

So Qwest decided they wanted to bash cable...like they all do. They bash cable because they know its good and it is their competition. If cable was as bad as they say, they wouldn't need to spend millions on commercials just to try and persuade you to switch.

This one perticular Qwest commercial I saw tried to debunk the "cable isn't satellite" and "satellite has a poor connection that craps out all the time" So they go to a cable company and show that they have a whole bunch of satellites all over the place.

Well omg. Okay, if you get a satellite based TV connection at home, you know the little dish on your house, you may get more Channels, and some nice features, no disputing Dish TV is nice, but it is not reliable. I had Satellite TV AND Internet. Holy crap it was bad. Cloud, bad weather...anything, would destroy your TV's signal and crap out your internet. It was down all the time.
Cable companies use big freaking Satellites with an enormously good signal, the little dish you get on your house is like a toy compared to that thing. And the cable connection you get at home is not based on anything at home, like your dish is out of alignment, or cloud cover is too thick. Its all based on whats happening at your cable company. Now maybe you won't have much trouble with Satellite TV and such if you live in a place where its always nice sunny weather, but washington is definitely not the place to have it. So its just stupid for them to bash cable like its an unreliable primitive form of TV. And the Internet through Satellite is not only SLOW AS CRAP, its just as unreliable as the TV connection. Im SOOOOO happy we have cable now. I can't remember a time that our cable connection has gone down. Satellite TV is nice while it works, but the things that you are forced to accept with it are just not worth it, especially if you are a big internet user.

I also hate seeing dial up companies try to compete with cable internet. They never say Dial up, they say "lightning fast connection speeds" and "high speed" when in reality, its only high for Dial up users, its not a high cable speed. People PC seems to think I'll switch over an internet provider that sounds like a 5th rate knock off of AOL by telling me I can continue to use my favorite instant messenger. Why shouldn't I be able to use my instant messenger? And why do they make it sound like I can only use one? Just the way they say it makes me think...wow this must be a limited pile of crap. I used AOL once...that was dreadful. Thinking about it makes me feel sick.

I hate advertisements competition. They say its good for the consumer, but really...I don't think its the best way. All they do is lie or deceive you into thinking they are better. They will say things like you can "TRY IT" for only $19.99, and never tell you the actual price until you either call to order it, or your Trial time is up. They leave out specific words, or word them a certain way to trick you, they all do it, and I can see it. I can see it and thats why I don't trust any company or any commercial. No matter how great they make it sound, just wait for their competitor to make a commercial showing what you don't get with them.

By the way, I'm looking forward to those 10 comedy movies that are ALL #1 this summer.

HGTV is my crack.
I watched a home redesign show till FOUR IN THE MORNING once (I started watching at ten, do the math :P )

Doctor Who - the program that in an instant reduced the budget of every BBC program being made
The Mighty Boosh - the only program I know that thrives the lower the budget goes (works brilliantly with Doctor Who in that respect)

Those are the two programmes I like that the BBC makes at the moment. Most other stuff is reality crap (I watched Britains Next Top Model and I hated ALL of them - they would stopping yipping at each other).

I like Farscape, I like John Doe (haven't watched much though) and I like the usual pile of BBC commedies that are no longer made Fawlty Towers, <B>Red Dwarf</B> etc. even Changing Rooms was quite funny, but you are right the standard in tv has fallen. If I watch "a place in the sun" one more time I will be forced to wage war on all of middle class England.

Although Dead Like Me is good and 24 is annoyingly addictive.

In terms of teleshopping I find it funny, Sky has teleshopping all day until the night where it turns into... shall we say adult entertainment? I figured between those there must be some sort of slutty teleshoping thing trying to sell me steam cleaners "for those dirty dirty people" and the like. And the way the sell things is hillarious
"WOW you'll never get THOSE stains out"
"Just what me with the Steam-cleaner 3000 it's a breeze!"
etc.

Well you guys know what I actually do like?

British Comedies. Anyone ever see Red Dwarf? That is such an awesome show.

I stopped watching it after season 2 because holly left the show.

ive got to disagree with you on the satelite thing i was lucky enough to rarely have to deal with the tv going out on me during storms. but i use direct tv so it might be different than the qwest thing. i dont use cable or satelite anymore though, its optic cable now.

I have Direct TV, but it depends on where you live really. Cable has really no location issues, as long as you can get it. There is honestly pros and cons to each, so I really hate how they just try to knock cable like cable is a terrible option that rips out off for thousands of dollars a year.

Ah, yeah, but everyone who has a prominent competitor (wow, both of those are spelled with "i"....who'd'a thunk...) takes that route eventually. I mean, look at McDonalds and Burger King, Quiznos and Subway, Energizer and Duracell. In the end, they all make commercials that knock the other product.

I find it funny that you bash reality shows but admit to enjoying Cops, which would have to be the dumbest show ever conceived, as it can be summarized as "car chase, car chase, indistinct banter, beating of a black guy, humorous dealing with drunk guy."

I personally love the shows on comedy central and sci-fi.