I don't have anything new to complain about so why not complain about the same crap all over again in a another way?
See? I'm thinking outside the box.
But Fuzzle, is this going to be some more TV rantings?
oh you sillies....YES OF COURSE!
So VH1 has another brilliant little gem.
What could it be?
Get this, no seriously...Your not going to believe it...its a crazy new concept.
Its this thing called a "REALITY SHOW" (Re-al-ity show) and it has to do with......................dating! O_O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_aniCCjs2M
I know its crazy, but I think this is the future of television. What more could us, (the American TV viewing public) possibly want? I mean its a show...Where some guy we barely know proclaimed to be an expert of the art of dating/picking up, teaches us poor 40-year old virgins how we can pick up some hot chicks and score. Its really a heart warming family centered, down to earth show, giving us a taste of a form of reality we can all relate too. Yes, my pathetic days of respecting women, looking for a decent girl, waiting till marriage for sex, and being an all around good guy ARE OVER MY FRIEND! I have been enlightened by the brilliance, the magnificence, the truly social gods of the planet....VH1's "The Pickup Artist".
Yes, because we all know that getting a girl to like you has nothing to do with you or your lame ole personality...Its this guy in a drag outfit giving me pickup tips on how to get a generic looking blonde girl sitting up at the bar drinking a Samuel Adams (always a good decision) to have sex with me and cure me of my wussy, undeserving, questionably homosexual virgin lifestyle.
Who needs a cute girl who treats you nicely, when you can have a cheap floozie who makes you feel like [censored] if you don't have psychic abilities to help you read their minds and say exactly the right thing at exactly the right moment, all the time. I know I couldn't move on with my life if a hooters girl disaproved of me and how I live my life, which happens to be, happily, without the need for sex sex sex, alcohol, sex, and basically everything you see in reality tv trash.
Where would I be without being graced by the presence of a bi*chy strippers, wearing tight jeans and a shirt that emphasized cleavage to that of the grand canyon, constantly on my case, constantly judging me, and constantly thinking she is superior to me in all ways. No I'm sorry Womens Deodorant Commercials, You aren't better then men. Especially at changing tires, (that commercial was stupid).
I'm so happy we decided that being a Virgin was pathetic and made you a big fat gay nerd in your parents basement. Yes, who needs morals when you can have MTV, VH1, and drunk party girls.
Well enough of that.
Who is the crap bag that invented hair dying? That guy must be one rich mofo. I mean EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD dyes their hair blonde, this guy must have a fortune! And just when you think he couldn't get richer, once the girls decide they no longer want to be blonde, THEY DYE IT BLACK! Now hes raking in the cash! BUT THEN! they decide, screw that, I'll throw in some purple highlights! This guy must be swimming around in gold coins like Scrooge Mc. Duck.
I mean who needs originality...its overrated. We aint's be needin all kindsa uniqueness and differences...who wants that? Obviously we just want 50 girls, with 4 breasts each, slobbering all over us in massive orgies.
Did you know that all men want to cheat? Its true, its encoded into our D.N.A. Its called the "I'm a douche bag" Gene.
You know what is just fantastic?
Those over dramatized black and white scenes in informercials giving you an accurate representation of what you used to hassle with in the past. With all those bulky cables, dirty vacuum bags, and heavy lifting.
I mean it is just ridiculous to the max. Apparently, everything on this planet, is too heavy. If its an ironing board, or a vacuum, apparently, nobody can lift it. Somehow everyone will lift it or try to carry the thing up stairs like they are cliffhanging from a mountain in a dramatic moment from "I shouldn't be alive".
Everyone has lower back problems. I don't care what your selling, someone has lower back problems, and their product helps. I watch these and think, people back in the day would be disgusted with us and how wussy we are. We seriously complain about trying to get a vacuum up stairs? YOUR NOT 75 YEARS OLD! the women in these re-enactments are like 25 or 30...Lift some weights you nancies. Its just so funny, they say "don't hassle with all those cables" and then you see some guy in black and white completely covered and wrapped up in a cable from an iron. I swear, and I'm not making it up, I saw one where they showed how we used to deal with big bulky vacuums...and the vacuum was literally bigger then the person. I mean seriously...It was some mega giant vacuum. And why can't people cut tomatoes? "Stop trying to cut vegetables with your dull knives", then they show someone like mashing it with their fingers and hammering the Tomato with a knife. If your too stupid to figure out how to cut a tomato, you shouldn't be handling sharp objects.
There is never any innovation with infomercial products. You will see one, two, or three new products like a steam cleaner, an air purifier, and a mop....and then a hundred new ones will follow as cheap knock offs. They give you an hour long explanation as to why their tiny modification will save you thousands and how its such an improvement.
Thats a trend in everything lately. Someone creates one thing, and then a ton of other companies come out with the same exact thing, but sell it like its the newest innovation. Do you know how many freaking steamers I've seen? I get it...steam cleans things!
Why the hell are their so many freaking new TV series? 90% are Reality crap that nobody cares about. I mean its all about the most shallow, boring, stupid concepts ever devised, and they use the same bull crap editing to make it look like something interesting actually happens. Reality TV is as fake as a sitcom. Holy CRAP!!!! Do I hate reality TV.
www.tv-links.co.uk
Go their, you will find a ton of your favorite old shows. Now compare that with todays TV. Their was some GREAT tv not but 5-10 years ago. I can't freaking wait till this Reality TV trash is finally dead and we can move on.
TLC is ONLY shows about Home Renovation, they are all the same, little twists, different Hosts.
UPN is all about black comedies, and they are never any good.
FOX Is a mixed bag. Its either a New sitcom from some comedian, a reality show, or a movie style action series.
A & E seems to be all about documentaries.
MTV is all just trash that sells their political messages.
VH1 Is some music, but its mostly trashy reality shows.
Comedy Central is fun for shows like "comedy central presents..." but after that its just disgusting tasteles roasts of celebrities I hate, and an advertisement spot for Girls Gone Wild.
Court TV is great for Crime Drama documentaries, Cops, and Those worlds wildest videos.
ScFi Channel just has HORRIBLE movies that nobody has ever heard about, probably from low budget kids in their back yard.
Discovery is great, but often kind of boring.
The History Channel offers some pretty entertaining insight into the past.
Cartoon Network is a sack of crap with no real attempt at making quality cartoon shows.
Nickelodeon/the N/ Nick Junior is MTV for kids at one point, Horribly bad mind numbing garbage for kids at another, Entertainingly awesome episodes of Spongebob for 1 hour, followed by VH1 style party segments between the show and commercials in which someone gets slimed, and crappy cartoons the rest.
TBS is great for old great sitcoms like Seinfeld and King of Queens
I've ran out of energy...So I can't think of anything more to complain about.
But Fuzzle, can't you be happy about something for once?
Yes of course. Bunnehs :3 I love those bunnehs, and I love snuggling, and day dreaming about those awesomely sweet and adorable moments that I could share with my bunneh ^_^