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 Post subject: Not always right
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 7:07 pm 
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Grand Templar
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Posts: 1155
Location: In your armory stealing your weapons
Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk
Hardware Store | New York, NY, USA

Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”

Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”

Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”

(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”

Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”

Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”

Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”

Customer: “What? NO!”

Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”

Customer: “Then do it!”

(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)

Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”

Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”

Me: *puts the customer down*

Customer: *confused* “… What is it?”

(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)

Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*

That site has alot of funny stories like that one.
http://notalwaysright.com/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 7:47 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:37 am
Posts: 3264
Location: Washington
...


...



XD

I didn't see that coming!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Council Member
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Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:54 pm
Posts: 559
Location: Your imagination...
this is awsome seriously xD

but yeah this is why I would never be able to work as a manager, I just lose my patience with every person like this.

nicely moved, really nice


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:12 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 1:55 am
Posts: 2885
Location: Somewhere in my pants.
I love this website. :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:21 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle
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Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:02 pm
Posts: 3529
Location: Boerne, Texas
That was freaking awesome!! You're right, that last part was totally unexpected.

EDIT:

(A mother and her teenage son come through my line…)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you need?”

Mother: “Yes, we did.”

(I notice she is buying party items, including cups, soda, pizzas, napkins… and condoms.)

Me: “Oh, are you having a party soon?”

Mother: *nods* “My little James is growing up. He’s going to have an orgy with all his little friends, aren’t you Captain Muffinpants?”

Me: *suppresses laughter* “Will that be all?”

Son: “YES! YES THAT WILL BE ALL!” *runs to car*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:51 pm 
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Master
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Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:46 pm
Posts: 303
The customer is ALWAYS Wroung, ALWAYS....

[censored] [censored] little dicks


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:18 am 
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Grand Templar
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Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:48 pm
Posts: 1333
Location: oom
Quote:
Kitteh Sez STFU

(I’m tending to the cats at our pet store when a young woman comes up and points at a small tabby, Velma.)

Me: “Ah, would you like to see Velma? She’s a little shy but very sweet.”

Customer: “I can has cat?”

Me: “Um… if you are interested in adopting, I’ll be happy to get out Velma or any of the cats so that you can get to know them a little better.”

Customer: “I can has lolcat?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “She is in her playpen, stealin our funs!”

Me: “You know, pets can be a big responsibility, and I’m not sure a cat would be the best thing for you right now.”

Customer: “K thanks bye!” *turns and walks out of the store*

Me, to Velma: “I think I may have just saved your life.”




LOL


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:45 am 
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Grand Templar
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Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:40 pm
Posts: 1299
Location: Vienna, Austria, Ye Olde Europe
I find it hard to believe these stories. I call BS.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:44 am 
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The Inkwell Coyote
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Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 4:28 pm
Posts: 7495
Location: 44°39'54"N 90°10'33"W
X3 I was going to call BS too until I realized that these stories were supposed to be jokes from the website he linked.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:39 am 
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Templar GrandMaster
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Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2005 6:28 pm
Posts: 661
Location: praying to the porcelain god
Probably my best retail story was around christmas. I worked electronics dept. in Kmart for 2 years. The last year I was there, there was on old ( think like mid 80's) lady who came in looking for a WII.....at christmas.....Of course we are sold out. When I tell her that we are sold out and cannot raincheck them she ends up yelling and screaming about how I am going to Hell for "Not saving a godfearing lady a Wii for her innocent grandson"


Yeah, then there was they guy that got pissed off when I told him that we didnt carry a VCR by itself, they all came with dvdplayers now. He got pissed and threw a speaker at me.... the walked out of the department ( The long way) so I went up by the exit to the department and sat there with some EAS security tags and dropped a few on the floor. He walked over them, they stuck to his boots, and I waited for the alarms to go off...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:58 am 
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Grand Templar
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Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:40 pm
Posts: 1299
Location: Vienna, Austria, Ye Olde Europe
FastChapter wrote:
X3 I was going to call BS too until I realized that these stories were supposed to be jokes from the website he linked.

It's not funny if it isn't true though :/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:16 am 
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Templar Master
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Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:43 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Neither here nor there.
True or not, I got a good laugh!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:04 pm 
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Master
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:41 am
Posts: 223
Location: Billings, Montana
True.

I work FedEx, so I get to see all sorts of boxes and packages. All sorts.

Things I have seen:
Chainsaw on a stick.
A 5-gallon tub of honey.
A rock. Just one. In black plastic wrap. Not even a big one.
Live butterflies.
A live parakeet.
A box of used prosthetics.
A crate (those plastic milk crates) of urine samples.
A box marked 'please crush', 'handle without care', 'you couldn't bend me if you tried', 'kick me', and 'load under all the heavy ones'. Reverse psychology?
And the one that boggled my mind until just a few weeks ago: Cases on cases of some stuff called 'Perfect Water'. I heard from a friend that, apparently, while some sodas are 'carbonated' this water does the same thing with just regular oxygen.

What the hell?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:45 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:37 am
Posts: 3264
Location: Washington
epion04 wrote:
so I went up by the exit to the department and sat there with some EAS security tags and dropped a few on the floor. He walked over them, they stuck to his boots, and I waited for the alarms to go off...


Owned. XD


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:28 am 
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Grand Templar
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Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:19 am
Posts: 1155
Location: In your armory stealing your weapons
Toasted
Restaurant | Ryebrook, NY, USA

(Within a few minutes of a family of four sitting down, the fire alarm went off at our restaurant.)

Me: “Hello folks, sorry for the terrible inconvenience. I’m sure everything will be cleared up here very soon.”

Customer: “Is this a joke?”

Me: “I assure you this isn’t a joke, unless you find it funny!” *laughs*

Customer: *deafening silence*

Me: “… but I also assure that there is no fire.”

Customer: “I’d like to speak with a manager, please.”

Me: “Sorry, but my manager is very busy at the moment dealing with the fire department. The drinks are on the house. If you could just sit tight, we’ll be with you shortly.”

Customer: “You know it’s my son’s birthday, right?”

Me, to son: “Oh! Happy birthday buddy!”

(I jokingly slide the beer towards the son, which sets the customer off even more.)

Customer: “Get a manager over here, right now!”

(My manager tells me that there is a problem with the ovens that the fire department has to figure out, and that we have to evacuate the building.)

Me: “I’m sorry to inform you that the grills have been turned off and–”

Customer: “How can we order our food then?”

Me: “Well… yeah, that’s the thing. We have to get everyone out of the building.”

Customer: “Excuse me? We don’t get to eat? It’s my son’s birthday. Is there anything you can do? We are very unhappy with this!”

Me: “Well, the fire department has ordered the evacuation, so I also have to leave the building.”

Customer: “It is my son’s birthday. He is turning 13. How often do people turn 13? Once! You have ruined my son’s only 13th birthday!”

Me: “Sorry buddy, I hope you get everything you want for your birthday!”

Customer’s son: “This was my birthday present and you ruined it!”

Customer: “What did you do on your 13th birthday?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “NOTHING! BECAUSE YOU RUINED MY SON’S BIRTHDAY!”

Me: “My 13th birthday was 8 years ago exactly.”

Customer: *confused*

Me: “How many times to you turn 21? Is this how you spent YOUR 21st birthday? GET OUT BEFORE I SET YOU ON FIRE!”

(It’s was a bitter-sweet birthday present: Leaving work 5 hours early, but with no money.)

I'm pretty sure a 21st birthday beats a 13th birthday


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