Twokinds ARCHIVE Forums

This is true. 8D


I understand what you're saying about the percentage. I'll ask someone over at Smack Jeeves how exactly I would go about changing it, since most of the stuff is just... I have no idea. -_-' But I'll go figure that out!



Yeah, I was just clicking around on the page, and decided that I didn't like the top nav bar. And the comics link to the following comic, but, in the case of only two comcis, your assumption is correct. XD But once a third page is added, the first page will go to the second, and the second to the third. I promise. XD


And, again, I really appreciate your help. My webstuff skills are awful... -_-'

Nice, the comic formating is getting much better. Practice makes perfect I suppose.

In any case, the shading was a nice addition, so that was a pleasant suprise. I don't particuarly enjoy the triangle shaped panels though. Oddly shaped panels often give the impression of violent movement, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Let's see another page how about?

No triangular panels on the next page. I have no idea what was up with those honestly... o_o' I mean.... *Is surprised no one's commented on how the panel layouts are VERY similar* >_>' I have no idea how I didn't notice that until... Today. D| *Made of fail*

Anyway, I'm glad you're sensing improvement! :D This always encourages me to do more quicker! ^_^



[EDIT]
Mm'kay, here's some actual colored stuff. XD


This is Daniel. I don't really have nothing else to say.

I really like your art ^^

For your last picture, I would just say that the neck looks too short compared to the height of the head (dunno if I said that correctly). As for the colors, it's great :)

Thanks. :D

I was actually thinking the neck was too long. o_o

I dunno, I just don't get necks. XD Won't lie. Thanks for the feedback, though. I'll now note to be more careful with necks in some way, lol. XD



Okay, here's another comic page. 8D Generally happy with this one (and I did most of it today! I CAN get things accomplished! XD)



No mature content involved! XD Except the implied pantslessness.

You guys know the drill. Any feedback is nice. ^_^

I'm going to suggest that your necks look too long to me this time around. On me, my jawline is roughly the span of my palm from my clavicle, so my neck is only as long as the width of my hand. Also, my shoulders don't droop quite so quickly, but then again, I've spent years keeping my shoulders very square ('twas insisted on by my band teacher in high school), so it's my habit.

The pupil-less eyes creep me out, however, from your colored image, I'm going to guess that you shade the pupils into the eyes, rather than drawing them into your lineart, so I'm willing to cut you slack on that one. :)

-- Also --
Otherwise it looks pretty good to me. The gutters are going to serve you well; the page flows much more nicely this time. Your timing joke ("Oh, I'll put some pants on then") could be pulled off better, but it'd be very difficult considering your limited space. I think you did the best you could without a frame explicitly pointing at Dexter before the joke. Finally, now that we've got some point of reference for Dexter, he works much better -- his small size is much more clear and the explicit reference to him as Jasper's son helps a lot. Jasper's dialogue in the first frame is very good. The first frame actually does a lot to establish his character. His hands and feet are out of proportion though. :( (Hands maybe a little too big, feet much too small. At least, to my eyes.)

Ahh, thank you so much on the bit about the neck. I never thought or proportioning them like that... o_o I'll definitely keep that in mind. ^_^


Yeah, for some reason, the eyes look even creepier if I ink the pupils in... o_o' I dunno what it is about it. D| And I actually didn't even think about it at all... It was just, like...ink, shade.... Since it's such a habit not to ink the pupils, I just...forgot about them... 8D


I actually thought about that a lot... D: And one of the solutions I had was changing the panel around (though adding another one did cross my mind) and just drawing a completely different one... The alternate panel that I had sketched out, though, featured Percy's rear end right in the foreground... 8D And I felt like I needed a page that didn't contain mature content for once... XD'


Assuming you mean Dexter, then, yes, I totally agree... Since it took up such a large part of the page, I had it zoomed in quite a bit when I was working on it, and didn't even notice how misproportioned it looked... D| I did notice that the foot was a bit small... but I forgot about it by the time I was going to go back and change it... 8D But I'll be more careful next time!

Thanks again for the feedback. You = amazing. 8D

You're welcome. I'm not sure if that proportion holds for everybody, but it's true for me. I actually just noticed it myself, when I was trying to find a way to suggest a better necklength. :P


*nod* It's reasonable, and nobody'd blame you for that particular design choice. ;) It's not an easy perspective to pull the joke off in, by necessity of the characters' positions. It works alright. Not perfect, but nothing ever is. :P


Yes, sorry, I added in extra sentences, jumping around in there a lot, and didn't realize that I lost correct person that the pronoun referred to. I apologize, and I'm glad you were able to sort it out. I figured you'd spotted it too.

Well I was going to say somthing, but then Avwolf said everything that needed saying. So I just have to say, well, this is better. Work on timing and blocking and your art, but that's like telling you to "get better" it's a horrible cop out.

If you want a bit more understanding of Comic theory though, pivk up "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud. Don't touch his other books, just grab that one.

Yeah, it happens. 8D


I'll see what I can do. :D Sounds like a good read. XD

[edit]
I actually searched for it at our library, and they actually have it, at my local branch. Unfortunately, my card number isn't working, so I can't log in to request it for hold, which means that I have to go and actually look for it... D|

[edit2]
I'm pumpin' these babies out. >D



This is the chapter cover~ Not too much to say... It took a while longer than I expected, because I started shading it three different ways... -_-'

Oh, and this'll probably be the last page I post here~ Thank you guys SO MUCH for your help, and if I don't post any more pages here, feel free to continue leaving constructive criticism here, on dA, or even on the Smack Jeeves site. You guys are AMAZING (Avwolf, mostly~, and Spiff, too).

I'll continue putting up other bits and pieces and whatnots, here. Promise~

CONTEST!

Click for infos. 8D

Also, if anyone cares, there're two more pages of Apple Candy up~ And another one coming Sunday.

Uhm, I've been trying something different with pages, so I want to see what you guys think~ Here're pages 110 and 111 of Apple Candy.

Uhm... Hi? >_>'



Ignore the suckage that is his right arm... >_>

'Eyyyyy! It's Jonesy!

Hey, haven't seen you around in quite a while. And what a wonderfully colorful return you've made |D

...purple oranges ^w^