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 Post subject: Sam... (Updated twice a week) READ AND COMMENT! plz....
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:29 am 
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Grand Templar
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READ FIRST!!

the story goes that its 3 years after trace took over. "He has successfully produced a spell to make ALL keifran live longer and behave more human like.
HOWEVER, this story isint about trace, its about a red panda keidran named Sam.
I will update chapters in parts, part 2 will be up, probably tomorrow!

but heres part 1.
sorry about the length, I copy-paste from microsoft word.

and this is my first attempt at writing.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:57 pm 
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Grand Templar
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Chapter 1, part 1
Trace

October 10th, 467 AD. The sun rose on the horizon, making the autumn landscape glow. Everything seemed peaceful, calm, and safe. Grand Templar, Trace Legacy, awoke from a restful night’s sleep. His wife, a tiger keidran named Flora, was still sleeping. He looked down at her, smiled and thought to himself, “Yeah, she’s probably tired…” He got up and went over to his wardrobe next to the window and put on his robe. He was getting out his sword when a knock came at the door. “Trace, sir. We need you down in the courtyard immediately! Some keidran were stealing from the market.”
“Ok John, give me a minute.”
“Yes sir.”
Trace looked down at the sword, it was a gift from an old friend. Made of a special steel, crafted by basitin generals, it had an inscription on it. The inscription read, “Never lose hope Trace. Signed, Keith.” Flora woke up and was watching him. “What’s wrong trace?”
“Flora, it’s been 3 years since he died, and I still feel as though its my fault.”
“Trace Legacy, it was not your fault! Keith died a hero. He took that arrow for you. Keith would be ashamed of you for thinking such things.”
“Seeing Natani cry like that though, it was too much for me to handle.”
A knock came at the door again, “Sir, this is urgent!” Trace didn’t even finish the conversation, he just walked out of the room and headed for the stairs. Flora followed him, naked as usual.
The scene in the courtyard was chaotic. A red panda keidran, was trying to steal fruit from a vendor in the market. Trace walked out, and everyone got dead silent. Without a word, He grabbed the culprit and threw him in the doors. Before he slammed them he turned around and said. “Now go back to your business.” After closing the doors trace turned and looked at the thief. “Sam, what is wrong, your kind has come a long way in the past few years, don’t degrade yourself to stealing.”
“I’m sorry sir, it’s just that, John doesn’t pay me enough and me and my wife are starving.”
“How much does he pay you?”
“About 30 a week.”
Trace pulled some money out of his robe, “You have been working here for 18 months, and you have been getting underpaid the whole time. Sam I want you to have this money, as an apology. I let this go unnoticed, and I’m sorry.”
“I can’t take that sir.”
“Sam, you have been one of my best servants, and you deserve this money. In fact, I would like to invite you and Miranda to join us for dinner tonight. We can discuss the notion of you staying in the castle from now on. Would you like that?”
Sam almost started crying no one has ever been this kind to him. “Sir, you truly are the greatest templar this land has ever seen.” He got up, trace handed him the money, and he left to go home. Flora looked at Trace, “And that’s why I love you so much Trace.”


Chapter 1 part 2
Sam

The path back to Sam’s village was long and narrow. On either side of it were tall dense trees and bushes. Not the safest place. Robbers, thieves, murderers, and rapists hid in the bushes and shadows waiting for someone to make a mistake. Sam wasn’t worried about the scum that hid in the darkness, they respected him for what he did. A few months earlier, his wife was walking to the market and was attacked by a thief. Sam was following her, the thief ended up dead along with the other criminals in the area. They feared him.
The sun was just starting to make the earth shine. Birds started coming out and everyone in the town of Jostens was awake. Walking into the town from the path was the unofficial “mayor” of the small village of red pandas, Samuel. The red panda species was becoming rare. In the past decade their numbers have dropped drastically, some think that this is the last village of them left. Sam arrived to his house and walked in, his wife was waiting for him. Miranda, stood 5’ 8”, just 5 inches shy of Sam, she had piercing blue eyes that could see your soul, her hair was dark brown, she had Burnt red fur with coal black features. “So Sam, how did it go?”
“I got caught. But the templar was nice enough to forgive me and even invite us to dinner,”
“Oh my God… are you serious?”
“Yes, my love, I am.” Without warning, Miranda jumped on Saul and locked lips. “You are the greatest husband ever.” The door to their house was still open, and the neighbors across the street yelled. “Get a room!”

Later that day!
Sam and Miranda knocked on the big oak doors of the castle. After a minute of waiting the doors were opened by one of the templar’s servants. “Welcome, we have dinner prepared in the dining hall just down that way. Sam was wearing a black suit, it was one of the few nice things he owns. (Yes I know they didn’t have suits back then, I don’t care) Miranda was wearing a dark blue dress that Sam bought her and a silver necklace. They walked down the halls of the stone castle, there were tapestries on the wall along with portraits of past templar’s. Upon reaching the dining room Sam turned to Miranda and said, “Trace was talking about us moving in here and giving me a promotion. So this is a big deal, I wanted to tell you now so you don’t get surprised when he tells us.”
“Sam, you tried to steal from him, why is he being so nice to us. We don’t even deserve to be here.”
“Trace is a good man. I don’t understand it either, now lets go.”

((small update, because I’m almost late for work!!!))


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:46 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:37 am
Posts: 3264
Location: Washington
Me being a grammar nazi and all, I did get a tad annoyed reading it, but to avoid looking like an [censored] in front of people I've never met, I'll shut up. >____> I did read through it though.


I'll be poppin' in later to see if this takes off. I'm not the best writer, nor can I tell what you're planning on doing here, but I think it's got potential =P


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:30 pm 
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Grand Templar
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Location: Somewhere in the space between the dream world and reality.
That's okay Fooby. You don't have to be the @ss. I'll do that instead.


*clears throat* PROOFREAD!! I saw quite a few places that needed quoatation marks put in. Your spelling seems okay for now. Other than that a good story.

I can't believe you killed our favorite Basitan, Keith! You a$$!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:54 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle

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Location: Washington
I love how you censored the same word two different ways.


Anyway, yeah, I'd prefer not to leave a bad impression until I break from the "noob" status and people around here actually recognize me. >_>


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:28 pm 
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Location: behind you, with a blade at your throat
not a bad story platypus, cant wait for the next update.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:21 pm 
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Grand Templar
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Location: Illinois
OK IT WILL BE UP TOMORROW

and when I copy paste from word it gets all..... weird.....
my computer sucks so grammar problems will be frequent.

also I missed quotations? damn.......
ANY WAY look for an update some time tomorrow.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:54 pm 
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Templar Inner Circle

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:37 am
Posts: 3264
Location: Washington
(b'-')b


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