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wolf in the night
A shadow is racing throught the night
it's paws don't make a sound
its fur is bushed it's teeth are shining white
it snarls and snarls the air swells and heaves
and washes up and down like water
the ears that listen to the night believes in death
the wolf is running for life
the deer near the cave is still as death
the wolf's air washes it like water
the wolf runs back and forth in the night
and the night holds it's breath
you have nothing to fear from the wolf in the night
unless you have broken his heart
just as the wolf I have the will and detrmination
to continue no matter what it take and no matter how long it takes
so the wolf in the night is none other than I
if you have broken my heart i will unleash the wolf
the wolf in side
the wolf in the night

'tis okay...but you really should move your other poem here and then delete that thread. Stops from other people having their work pushed down.

Cry of havoc let slip the dogs of war. Born of shadows and flame Rise! Prince Scylavos of the DarkFlame!
Cursed til the kiss of an angel douses the fire of hatred in your heart and shatters the shadows that surround you!
Til that day may you walk a path of lonelyness, Drentched in blood of your eneimes walk forth into the world and send it into chaos and darkness. Burn down anyone that may stand in your way for all will fear your name. May darkness take you to the brink of life its self and forge a path not to death but through it to lead an army of those that fear you in to the eternal abyss of shadows. May the flames in your eyes push you through insanity to a new level of rage that this world or any have ever seen before.
Let darkness and fire be the down fall of ALL!!!...Until the most fragile of snowflakes finds it's way through the darkness and flames to find the light and love lock deep inside your hurt body and release it only then may you walk that path of light and of love along with your one...true...love....

Not my cup of tea, to be honest. Sounds a lot like poetry for the sake of poetry, prose for the sake of prose.

Read a lot of this stuff in high school creative writing classes. Method of describing imagery fluctuates too much, a lot of the wording is too direct, and writing out lines with ellipses for dramatic pauses is something you do when quoting dialogue, at the most.

back in black...and i got a few words i can't stay to some of the ppl here like [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]
[censored] and [censored]

Don't worry, I'll find some way of keeping myself occupied.

go and get [censored]

(the word censored has been typed into every post so don't go thinking i've been cussing...)

Eh? Hoookay...

How's the view way up there on your high horse? >_o I can barely see you.

Haha...

Okay, as for the poems. The second one sounds a lot like you're just glorifying yourself, or your RP-er. A lot of the points that Fast brought up hold true. Sounds a lot like what people just write. It's not always considered poetry just because it's in lines. It sounds a lot like something that I've already read, I think. Wolf was better, but also sounded... used, I think. Can't think of anything else to say.

Yeah, dude, I'm gonna be completely, X-Play honest here. I've read alot of poetry, and yours isn't very good. It's kinda...what's the word I'm looking for...Repetitive? Dark? Emo? Yeah, that's it. Emo. Don't sound so Emo, and hows about we at least TRY to expand our vocabulary a bit, eh? It was dull. very dull. So, I think the first step to improving your work is to take a dictionary and shove it UP THE BUTT CHARIZARD

I believe I am the one who decides if something gets locked or not round these parts... I'm also the one you should be reporting stuff to...

k fine

UP THE BUTT CHARIZARD

See? It's blue! I find it very difficult to take you seriously when you make these things so easy.

EDIT: Uhhh, this was, of course, directed at Scy, sage...please don't kill me...

Ten steps ahead of you, :)

I like the new version of his poetry now. It has a much more... ethereal and not-there feel to the prose.

I lol'd