Twokinds ARCHIVE Forums

Because NOTHING like that is here :wink: :roll:
Messin with ya.
Your art is pretty good. Your shoulders don't seem so bad...

lol joker!
I must ask, whats your animated sig from?

my favorite is still flora o_O

Ya know...I still have yet to figure that out xD....Maybe Sage knows? ^^; I think I asked him if he knew by chance...But I don't remember XD

Thanks, guys. ^_^

I've been kind of upset because I haven't had much time to draw lately... D| *Kerfail* So I feel kind of out of practice.


Aww, thanks. ^_^ That's always one thing I REALLY worry about.

Shade: Yeah, the Flora one is still one of my favorites, too. *Need to force myself to draw more girls*


Oh, and just out of curiousity, can *anyone* see what's in the black panels? 'Cause I definitely can't on this computer, and I feel like the five minutes I put into it was a waste (they're just sketches XD), so if it's a problem for enough people, I'll go ahead and lighten it some.

On the laptop, I can make out, just barely, that there is something, but only because you mentioned it. On my desktop's LCD, the black panel content is pretty easy to see though. (Provided I lean forward, making it one of very few instances that the angle makes a difference for the desktop. I guess I could pull out my old CRT for another comparison if you really want me to.)

...Yeah, nothing more useful to add. Your bed corners are really square (corner as in "where the side meets the top," not "where the sides meet"), but since I don't have the slightest how to render it differently, that's not much help.

Thanks for letting me know that it's possibly to see. ^_^

And, yeah... I can't really draw bakcgrounds... 8D What I think would help me is giving more texture to the sheets (wrinkles and the likes) or just if I had shaded it... Yeah, those sorts of things.

Thanks for the feedback! ^_^

If there is one thing I know, it's comics.

The dialouge is good, if a wee bit silly, and the last panel is a pretty good opening to the scene. I won't go into art, but rather the direction of the page, since that's the place most people have problems with.

There is an awful lot of empty space on your comic. The eye (being lazy) is attracted to white space, so you may not want that. Also, try and use gutters a bit more than you do right now.

I'd need to see a few more configurations before I could give a good assesment, but all in all its got some good direction behind it.

Ahh... Thanks, Spiff, that actually helps a lot! I'm always awful when it comes to making comics... 8D I've done two on my own before. Well, haven't really "done" them, but, out of the two, I managed six pages... 8D' *Fails* And then I got through nearly two chapters of another comic with the help of someone (I drew, she colored, she maintained the site, etc). And page direction is a huge problem. 8D

And the dialogue is meant to be a bit silly... It's sort of a parody, yet a drama, but not. I don't really know what it's going to turn out to be, if anything at all... 8D But, right now, I'm going for cheesy...

And what exactly do you mean by gutters...? *Assuming that's some comicking term that I'm just not aware of... 8D*

NEVER GIVE UP! (read: dont feel down)
I totally suck at drawing and im not down! (even though I havent drawn a real, ongoing comic since, oh TWO THOUSAND AND TWO! *snorts and falls over laughing*)
Is their anything you could squeeze a few minutes out of to draw? I know I used to go overboard doing that <.<" ">.> I used to come home at 3:45, and play the day away till 10:00/12:00... and then the divine gods interviened and broke my computer! Wahh!

If all fails, draw in what time you have, and make it something you would...enjoy

Ah yes, sorry. Gutters are the spaces between panels. Among other things they can be used to express time. The wider the gutter is, the longer the time it seems to get to that panel.

Just another comic page that I'd like critiqued. My brain kinda died on me while working on this... I started it, like, three weeks ago and just finished today. 8D



Just as a small warning, there is buttcrack. :X Blasphemous, I know.

And I started layout for this page before Spiff brought up gutters... But I've definitely been thinking about them for the third page!

But things I want to know:

Are the backgrounds too crappy?
Does the shading look alright?
Do you think the kid looks more like a boy or a girl?
How old does the kid look?
Anything anatomically wrong


Oh, yeah, and I worked harder on the bed, too. ^_^ I mean, like... I tried to make the "corners" of the bed look better... Because the first thing I said jsut sounds awkward... ~_~'

My inital impulse with the kid is a 14 year-old girl, but I'm not a terribly good judge, and you like longer hair on your men too, so that (which along with the dialogue and, to a lesser extent the clothing, are my clues), doesn't necessarily put me on stable footing. Anatomical woes...Uh...He's missing the fingers on his hand, which, combined with the angle the hand is at, makes it hard to tell if his hand's on backwards or not. :P

Sorry, the art comments are really an on-topic mask for my comments on your site. ;)

Incidentally, it looks like there's a really...different CMS running your site. I'm going to wait for more than two comics before I really start looking at it funny, but they made some really interesting choices for the directory (or pseudo-directory as the case may be) structure for the site that I'm torn whether I think is clever or not.

You need to go into the pages that handle moving through the archive (the ones with the next and previous buttons) and do some rearranging, though. The content starts a little too far to the right (in IE7...I'm going to have to go get Firefox again to check it, it appears that my install is borked) and doesn't limit itself to the white portion of your background, particularly the "Latest >>" link. You can't let the table get as wide as it wants, or when the background repeats across the y-axis (which happens when the page gets sufficiently wide) the content crosses into repeated black portion. It does even weirder things when I maximize my window, but you're probably safe enough not designing for really wide screens yet. Oh, and I can totally see your "sloppy noob HTML." ;)

-- Oh --
I should add (since I was the one who made the first comment on it) the bed does look better. Also, although you don't have more traditional gutters, your page layout this time flows more naturally and implements some pseudo gutters. I didn't even notice the part of the door above the stair frame initally.

It's a boy, and he's supposed to be about seven. XD I just suck at drawing kids. -_-' But that's why he's there; for practice! And his dad won't let him get his hair cut until he wants to. And he doesn't want to. And he wears a hat because he has pointy ears, and his mom doesn't like him having pointy ears, so she makes him cover them. 8D



Assuming you're referring to the hand pulling up the pants (out of context, I'm sure that sounds REALLY weird), he does have fingers, they just got lost in the shading... -_-' Note to self: Take into consideration lines and make sure that shading is not going in same direction. :D


In regards to the website...stuff....

What's a CMS.....? >_>'

And I don't quite udnerstand what you mean by "the content starts a little too far to the right"... Maybe we're just seeing them differently? I mean, I'm using IE7 as well, but maybe our screens are just different. Mine's not a widescreen, though. (1024x768)



In regards to the newest page being too big: I SWORE I resized it, but I didn't... And since the original file's on a different computer, I have to go all the way over there to fix it, and I jsut haven't gotten the chance... -_-' And, at least from what I can see, that's the only thing that goes off the white into the black.



And thank you SO much for the feedback. ^_^ It's helped a lot


EDIT

The comic size is fixed, now. At least on my computer. Let me know if it's still weird on yours (or anyone else). Thanks again ^_^

Ah, fair enough. I did say I was a poor judge. Giving something to compare his height to more concrete than the railing, which we've never seen in comparison to one of the other characters would help in judging the age. Besides, that one panel isn't much to go on, so don't be too hard on yourself. The next frame ought to clear all of that up: this is the sort of frame that leaves the audience going "Who is this?!" A child of sufficient youth is going to be a tough call without the comic's support no matter what.


Yes, that's the hand. Alternatively, you could make the lineart differentiating the fingers darker than the shading (but lighter than the outlines).


Content Management System. I'm assuming that the whole thing isn't hardcoded in its entirety and you're not having to add everything by hand.


More like a difference of personal preference. You've got a good fifty or so pixels between the side of the horizontal rule and "<< First Comic" link, and the border between black and white. That space seems wasted to me, especially as the content bleeds out of the white area to the far right side of the page.


It's not really the page itself as it is that particular link. Like I said, you're letting the formatting decide how wide it gets to be. It's being greedy and taking up as much space as it can. You have to tell it that it's only allowed to be so wide, or it'll try to be as wide as the remainder of the window. This causes the links, and eventually the comic itself, to start to move onto the dark part of the background to the right if the screen is wide enough. (Hint: Use widths in pixels as much as possible. Percentages are unreliable for measurement.)


That line's the one giving you the trouble. The 80% measurement means that it's dependent on my browser window size. It cannot shrink to be smaller than the image width, or it'd try to do that for smaller windows. It'd be safer/better to replace that with something like this:

Which isn't great CSS, but it'll force the table to be with width of the comic image. You might want to pull the comic image itself into the table, which would save you the trouble of having two tables with exactly the same setup for the top and bottom navigation bars, as well as forcing the navigation bars and the comic into a predictable alignment.

-- Hrm --
I see you removed the Top navigation bar and made the comic a link to...the most recent? (With only two comics, I can't more than guess. :P) But the bottom navigation bar still bleeds over. See my notes above. Your table width is what's causing the difference in the way you and I see the comic.