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 Post subject: The Dark Lighter
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 1:06 pm 
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O.k My first real attempt at witting outside of poetry, so I'm really nervous about what you guys think.I'm aware that the punctuation and grammar may be horrendous, and the story does not flow as smooth as i want it too but hopefully i'll get better, and be able to use more imagery, details, and things.
Note: Chapter 1 is really only supposed to be a rough draft of the story so alot of things haven't been explained.
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Chapter 1: A dark light



Novus gripped the bronze doorknob tightly.
"I have to!" Novus whispered sweat running down his back.
"I-I- Will show them, i have to show them!"
"Why do they always look down on me?"
Novus took a deep breath and stepped in. It was pitch black. the darkness seemed to wrap around him like a cloak. Hugging him tightly, squeezing the life out of him. “Sapiens flamma appearo!” Novus whispered. Almost at once an orb of light shot into the middle of the room and exploded into a bouquet of dazzling light.
"Sap!" Novus whined covering his eyes.
"Can’t you warn me before you do that?"
"I didn’t even have enough time to close my eyes!"
"Sorry.." A young woman’s sheepish voice called out from what seemed like the air.
Novus looked at his surroundings.
He was in a large white room completely bear, all except a lone desk at the far end of the room stacked to the ceiling with spellbooks, papers, summoning materials, and other odds and ends. It was a fairly unimpressive room for a prudens master, but that’s just how Novus’ master was, simple, and humble. The two very traits Novus despised the most.
"Novus are you sure we should be in your masters room? Surely if he catches us he will-"
"Shut up!” Novus said, annoyance resounding in every syllable.
"Just shut up and keep the damn room lit!"
"But-"
"But nothing, your my spirit guide right? So that means you have to help me” Novus looked down at the brown lacquered hardwood flooring for the very first time since he had snuck into the forbidden room. Its light earthly colored planks of interlocked wood seemed to radiate a sense of peace and harmony, Novus hated it.
"Sap Which one!?" Novus called looking up at the ceiling. Silence overtook the room.
"Which one is it!?" Novus called again, clearly annoyed.
"second plank to the right of the entrance” Sapiens Flamma replied reluctantly. Novus made his way to the door and stopped right in front of the plank his spirit guide had instructed.
Novus reached out and touched the plank with his forefinger, the plank did not feel like wood at all, it wasn't solid and yet it wasn't a liquid. The plank had an almost airy like feel to it. "Definitely it" He said smiling, he then whispered the words Phasmatus, manus, manus under his breath, it was the ghost hand spell. The very first spell he learned from his master at the mansion, he’d been so nice to him back then Novus thought. He had always wondered what had happened for his master to despise him so much. “now is not the time, stick to the job at hand!” Novus’ inner voice had said, shattering his thoughts. “right then” Novus said aloud , and plunged his hand into the plank as hard as he could.
His hand slipped right through the plank like a fish swimming through water, it was an odd feeling, having his hand inside the plank. It was almost as if he and the plank were one, as if he and the plank shared the very same heartbeat. Deeper, and Deeper he plunged his hand into the wood until he reached something solid and leathery.
"Got it!" he exclaimed. Novus gripped the item in his hand and pulled with all of his might. His hand wouldn't budge. "Don’t panic" he spoke to himself, he had anticipated this, he knew his master would have something like this set up.
"Sap help me out!" Instantly the room went dim and he felt two smooth ,and silky, warm hands around his waist gently pulling him until he was free of the deceitful plank with object in hand. Novus turned around and was faced with a beautiful young woman her age maybe around 17 winters. She had long hazelnut colored hair that reached down to her shoulders, a heart shaped face, with two yellow golden eyes that seemed to sparkle and shine like the sun, A small petite nose, a full set of breasts and soft and supple cherry colored lips. She wore an old-fashioned Sol priestess garb from the luminarium era, which consisted of a plain white robe with golden trim, a golden sash tied around her petite waist a silver circlet around her head , and the sun gods symbol emblazoned in gold on the chest.

"Novus...your staring" at Sap's words Novus snapped back to reality "Sorry sap I didn’t realize..." "But we did succeeded in recovering this" Novus replied quickly changing the subject. He held up the object he had clutched in his hand. It was a book, with a brown leathery exterior and rudimentarily stitched binding. The cover was quite bare except for two golden words etched onto the front Everto Bane.
"Its time Sap" Novus said.
"You do know how i feel about this, don’t you?" She replied `
"Yes you've made it loud and clear since the first time i planned it, and I’m not changing my mind." Novus replied stubbornness setting in."How long until master gets back anyway?"
"He gets back at Dawn." Sap replied reluctantly. "good, plenty of time." Novus said satisfied. "Do you need me to light up the room, again?"she asked.
"No the light you emit in your human form is good enough" Novus replied, and opened up the once hidden book and began to scan the pages.
"what demon do you plan on summoning?" Sap asked Nervously. Novus looked up and smiled, "a level septem."
"No You Can’t!" Sap wailed, “That’s the highest ranking Demon!" "Demons aren't like us spirits, if you make one wrong move they'll-"
"Kill me, or possess me." “Yes, Yes I know the whole spiel” Novus finished. "Well I’m very aware of that possibility but if i cant summon a demon of that caliber then Master and the others will never accept me."
"Novus, is that what this is all about?" "None of them care that you’re a-" "Sap, I will hear no more of it!" "You either help me, or you get the hell out!" Novus replied coldly still diligently scanning the pages.
"Found it" Novus cried, excitement practically oozing out of his voice. "this is who i will summon" Sap leaned over his shoulder to look at the book, but of course she didn’t understand it.
After living through several generations of mankind she just never bothered to keep up with each generations nuances such as reading ,and writing she only went for the necessities like speech, and customs.
“What’s its name?" Sap asked. "It says here that it’s name is "atrum relevo" "The Dark Lighter!?" Sap exclaimed horror stricken. "The very same." Novus replied clearly proud of himself.
Sap opened her mouth to protest but then thought better of it, If there was one thing she knew about Novus, Once he's set on something he'll never stop until he either gets it, or dies, and today she feared the latter. "ok lets do this" Novus said, holding the book in one hand he brought out a ceremonial daggerhidden in his pocket, he then with the book still in hand placed the dagger in his mouth and lifted up his shirt, he then put the dagger in his left hand, held the book in his right hand, and held up his shirt with his teeth.
He raised the dagger into the air and stabbed his abdomen. Sap winced, and Novus grunted but kept on going until eight puncture wounds were made in his abdomen resembling a circle, not deep enough to rupture anything but enough to draw blood.
He then smeared the blood into a crude rune resembling protection in into the circle, he then got down on his knees and mumbled a prayer, He did this for about 10 minutes, and then opened his eyes and stood up.
Now that we’ve got the protection spell intact, its time to get to the real stuff”

Novus reached Into his pocket once more, and pulled out a stick of chalk, and began to draw a large Circle with an eight pointed star in the center, after doing so he went over to his masters desk and retrieved an incense pot . "a little help?" he asked gesturing to Sap.
Sap snapped her fingers and the incense pot began to smoke as fresh flames flared up beneath it, he placed the jar right on the outside of the circle. "OK i need total silence this is the hard part" Novus explained.
He then stepped inside of the star and began a low rhythmic chant. Sap knew to be completely silent without Novus having to tell her. When it came to this part; one wrong sound or movement could rip her spirit charge’s soul from his body. Time came, and time went. Sap began to get worried, she knew that she hadn’t been with many charges before but, she also knew that a summoning, demon or spirit should not take this long. Should she wake him? Or is it already too late? Before Sap had time to debate any further, the incense pot exploded with a loud Bang. Sap Jumped, and Novus was jolted sharply out of his trance. A shower of steel, herbs, and twigs thundered down upon the pair, and the room was drenched in a giant cloud of purple, acrid smoke. Novus collapsed to the ground gagging, and coughing
All at once the putrid smoke in the room was sucked into one solidified mass. The shape was a gigantic grotesque caricature of a human face. It had two enormous, yellow iris less eyes, An animalistic feral looking nose, and a ridiculously gigantic mouth that took up the entire length of the room, packed with thousands of razor sharp blade like teeth fixed into a maniacal smile. "HMMMMMM the Human world Smells so delightful! " “It smells of Sin, and Death!” the creature exclaimed its booming voice crashing down upon Sap and Novus like a tidal wave on unsuspecting villagers.
The voice had no gender; if it were to be described, it would be best described as if all the despair and evil in the universe were brought together and compressed into decipherable speech. "Boy!" The creature boomed its raspy voice grating into Novus’ ears. The creature fixed its two gigantic yellow orbs on Novus "Is it thou who hast summoned one such as I?"
"y-yes" Novus stammered scrambling to his feet. "It was I!" Novus declared again, trying to regain stature, and confidence. "Always make the summoned know that you’re in charge" his hated Masters words resounding in his head.
The creature laughed long and hard, it was a horrible laugh, a laugh that eats at your very core, a laugh that will haunt you for the rest of your days. "One such as you!?" the creature cackled.
"A small youth barely even 17 winters!?" “Surely you jest!” The creature laughed again "Listen here you demon!" Novus said anger and contempt creeping into his voice. " I summoned you, and you will do what i say, when I say it understood!?"

"HO HO HO! What hath we hither!?" "I Like you young one, rare for a youngling to hath such fire in thine eyes " the creature replied in mock admiration. “Yes, Yes now before we go further I command you to change into a more suitable form!” Novus shouted more confident then he felt. "as you wish master" The creature exaggerated mocking Novus yet again.
The giant face disappeared into smoke as quickly as it had come, and then the smoke took a solid form once more. This time it was a young woman with pale white skin, black eyes, and dark hair. her body was shaped in the most obnoxious of proportions, most noticeably to Novus, her bust.
She was clad in nothing but a black brassiere clearly several sizes to small, and a tiny loin cloth hardly covering any of her unmentionables. "Disgusting.." Novus spat, and turned away from the woman . The woman cackled in satisfaction.
The woman then disappeared into a puff of smoke and the smoke took shape yet again. this time the creatures form was more fitting. It was a man’s shadow Novus could see that, but even more peculiar it was also solid. all accept his eyes the man’s entire head was wrapped completely in black cloth, He wore a black acolytes robe and a hood over his head.
The Man then began to speak . "Boy, I know why thou hath summoned me.." "they don’t accept thou doth they boy?" Novus kept looking away "They doth not accept thou because thou art just like-" "You Shut your mouth!" Novus screamed, his emotions getting the better of him. "you just shut your damn mouth.."
"I Can aid thou , boy" the creature said softly, trying its hardest to sound consoling. "Thou and I, art the very same boy " “Together we whilst show them...” “Thine and I together, we can make them pay for it we- "Don’t listen to it Novus please!" Sap interrupted choking back tears.
"SILENCE!" the Man pointed at Sap and an invisible force bound her mouth shut. Novus didn’t seem to take notice. "Now then boy, hath though come to a Judgement?” The man asked softly “Y-Yes” Novus stammered. “Well?” The Man asked impatiently “ I want to do it..” Novus replied quietly “Do What!?” The monster replied amused. " I WANT TO MAKE THEM PAY!" Novus screamed tears streaming down his face. “Excellent, Now if thou would be so kind as to step out of thine barrier, I can fuse our powers together” Novus knew this was a mistake, he knew he was breaking every rule in every book, but he didn’t care if there was one chance just one, if there was a single chance that this demon was sincere he would take it. Novus took a deep breath and stepped out of the circle.
Saps eyes widened in horror, and she tried with all her might to scream, but she couldn't. She had to stay and watch, She couldn’t even leave her position or risked being torn to shreds by the demons aura ,before she came anywhere within range. She watched silently, and wept.
Laughter thundered throughout the entire room. loud, and unforgiving laughter not at all like the type of joyous hysteria you hear at taverns, or restaurants, but an evil laugh, a laugh that sucked the color out of all living things present, breaking into their deepest darkest memories and reveling in them like a child on Christmas day. Crack! The sound of thunder bulldozed through the room, and a flash of black lightning struck Novus down right where he stood.

The binds on Saps mouth were finally loosened, and she let out a scream “NOVUS!” and ran as fast as she could towards him, he was lying face down on the floor and she turned him over, his eye lids flicked open revealing his pale green eyes “I-I’m sorry Sap” Novus said smiley weakly. “No it will be alright” Sap sobbed “I’ll just call master and-“ “shhh!” Novus hushed. “Don’t cry” he whispered wiping tears from her velvet cheeks “Not for me, I don’t deserve it” Novus coughed sending a trickle of blood down the side of his mouth. “It has begun.” He said his voice soft. “I don’t have much time” “listen to me when he came inside I saw-” Novus let out a wail of pain. “They’re going to kill” “don’t let them do it, save him..” “Novus save your breath, you wont last much longer like this” Sap pleaded. “Listen!” Novus said weakly gripping her wrist “This was supposed to happen, but you cant let them get to the other!” “What? I don’t understand, Novus please don’t talk anymore!” Sap sobbed. “The Orphanage” he said, his voice just below a whisper now. “What Orphanage, Novus please I’m begging you stop this!” she cried. Novus gave a weak smile and turned to look into Saps tear stained eyes. “I love you” he said, and with that he was gone.


Orsa sat up in bed unable to sleep. It was pretty dark, but he could make out the rows of identical white beds adjacent to his own, all occupied by boys around his own age. A thick musty smell of mildew and charcoal reached Orsa’s nose, but he did not choke or gag because he was used to this unusual combination of scents. “Its just life at the orphanage” he had always thought. “I wonder if Elianna is sleeping right now?” Orsa whispered aloud. Elianna was Orsa’s best friend; she slept on the girls side of the Orphanage. Orsa and Elianna were extremely close, which brought about a lot of teasing from their peers . The two never really payed it any mind though, it was just them against the world, and it has always been since they were born.
A sound jerked Orsa out of his Thoughts. He could have sworn he had heard Someone moving. “It cant be Elianna” he told himself “Not after last year when she snuck in on my birthday, and got caught by Matron-” “Who’s Matron?” a girls voice whispered right in his ear. “Ack!” Orsa let out a sound of surprise and crashed to the floor tangled in sheets. “Quit fooling around we don’t have much time!” the girl said urgently. Orsa looked up, the girl was very pretty, brown hair, and yellow golden eyes that showed signs of crying. Orsa felt an uncontrolled feeling of compassion for the girl, for some strange reason he hated the prospect of this girl ever having experienced misfortune, but strangely enough the appearance of this girl is not what struck Orsa as odd,
but the fact that she was glowing, Not the type of glow that women claim each other get when they fall in love, but an actual luminescent glow. “What?” was all Orsa could manage to say. “You are Orsa, no?” The girl asked. Orsa nodded his head “I thought so” The girl said smiling. “you look like him, only your hair is white” “Who!?” Orsa said, utterly bewildered at this strange glowing girl standing over his bed in the middle of the boys sleeping quarters as If no one was around but him, while talking about the likeness he shares with a person of whom he’s never met in his life. “We have to go now!” the girl said again, remembering what she was supposed to do. “Are you crazy!?” Orsa asked. “What the hell are you talking about!?”
“We have to go or he will kill you!” The girl shouted. Who is? Orsa replied still confused, but a little scared now. “Your brother” the girl replied.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:44 am 
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Wow, i didnt think it would be that bad.
Oh well back to the writing board...
The next one will be good, i swear!











.....I think?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:10 pm 
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I did read it; I was just too tired to write anything last night. I find it very interesting, but the way you structure it makes it a bit confusing, since you have different characters speaking in the same line sometimes.
New speaker = new paragraph usually. It just helps it flow more easily. Other than that, I'm liking it so far.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:47 am 
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Ok, I finally found the time to read this. Sorry, I have been meaning to read this, but I have been so busy I can not find the time.

Anyway, great job so far. Rather Dark, but that is ok.

Just a few things. Like Sable Dove said, everytime someone new is speaking, make a new paragraph.

Also, when the same person is talking, you do not have to put "" in between each sentence. For example,

“I don’t have much time” “listen to me when he came inside I saw-”

This should be....

"I don't have much time. Listen to me when he came inside I saw-"

Other than that it is pretty good. Keep up the great work!


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