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Well, I just thought this up so tell me any flaws...

An average wolf prince was dreaming in his sleep tossing and turning of the intimidating nightmare. In this dream he was about to die. He never had died ever since he drank the magic potion made by his brother, Lance. In general, he was immortal. He was about to die from a formidable foe. This foe was immense in size and power, in the form of a dog. The wolf boy cowered in fear as the shadowy creature's shady claws reached out for him. The prince had waken up in a cold sweat feeling on the part of his body on which the enigmatic creature had pierced him. "Was this a dream? Hopefully not a reading of the future..." He went to get his clothes from the closet, and chose casual garbs for the day.

He always had wierd thoughts and dreams lately. He always wondered if this was for real or not. Who or what is that figure he dreamed of constantly? "Wake up, Leon!" Yeah, the wolf boy that was dreaming was me. My mother was standing at the doorway. She had the most beautiful smile a prince could ever see. She sat down at my side. "I saw what you were dreaming about earlier," She said. "I don't know," I said. "if it's true or not.."

I'll continue tommorow....
How does it sound so far?

more! more! :D I love wolves! :wink:
sorry if i sound demanding. :oops:

Hah, well I do, too! At least I'm not the only one. :D

"Well," Mother said, "I think you're just having bad dreams. You'll get over it, I promise." I only just stared at her. "Hey, don't give me that look! Please don't worry, Leon. Everything will be okay. Now get some clothes on so you won't make the breakfast cold." "Yes, mother..." As soon as I got my clothes on I went out to the dinner table. The whole family was there since my mother's cooking was so famous. The smell of the morning feast filled my nose, and it smelled delightful.

WELL, I got to get off. My SISTER wawnts to get on. Sorry!

It's ok, as some have said, and I agree, self insertion is a little overly done, not to be rude, just being a critic. Wolf boy sounds childish, I'd have used Lupine boy, Maybe that's just me. And being immortal? And royalty? And a powerful wizard or alchemist for a brother? And a mother with telepathy? c'mon, making your characters so powerful right off the bat? I suppose all but the imortality is somewhat understandable, just a little overly done. :? sorry, just being honest, thought I'd express my opinion, If you don't want me to, i'll shut my mouth criticizing from here on out. Don't get me wrong, I like wolves too, but this story is just a bit... overly done.

Hey can we post true stories here? B'cause I was thinkin' of posting meh background. I could fabricate it some if need be?

Ah, hmm, well, maybe you're right....I think I have been a little childish; wolf-boys, royalty,....Oh, yea Lance is NOT EVEN CLOSE to a wizard. He's a fox boy that is actually more powerful than me. He DOESN"T dress up in robes unless it's something important. The whole family actually wear casual clothes and actually do casual things. This isn't the midevil times, no where near that. This is far in the future so I'm actually younger than you. Even though they live in castles, they do not live the royal way unless it's important like a special guest. Yea, I don't care if I start out all powerful or not. I just mixed the past, present, and future ways of living in this little story I was gonna tell you. I lvoe interesting twists so don't get confused.

PS: Besides I'm 13 years old in real life. I love fantasy so bear with me! What am I supposed to type?

Dood, it's kewl I was just pointing out what I saw as bad for a story, it's an opinion, people have them, I wasn't trying to be mean. I just assumed wizard or alchemist or something, cause most normal people couldn't just make a magic potion that makes you immortal like that, if they could, everyone would be immortal wouldn't they? it's fantasy I know. It doesn't mean you should stop, go ahead and continue.

Okay, continuing on!


"Mom, I think you outdid yourself once again. Let me think.......the 37 time...." She smiled. "Well, I do add some things to the stuff that--"
"DARN!!" I interupted, "It's gonna be a full moon tonight...Make sur eyou chain me up with the best chains. I....don't wan tanyone to get hurt..." "Well, that's bad..." Lance said appearign out of the darkness. Lance was an expert assassin and the prince of the foxes. He had jet black hair and fur with white tips. He usually wore black. He usually goes berserk on new moons. "Stop actin like a wraith, you're scarin' me!" I said. "Hey," he said changiong the subject, " I just saw a dragon girl unconcious out at the beach. You might want to go save her..." "Why didn't you?" Mom said. "Well, that's Leon's job: to save the people. I only made the potions so that everyone becomes immortal, so it's your turn to do the work..." He turned his back. I became enraged.

My nails got longer, my teeth got sharper, and my eyes turned form the sweet soothing blue to the harsh intimidating red. "WHY YOU LITTLE....." Leona, my big sister, grabbed my arm. "Don't let your anger get out of control yet. You becoming berserk every full moon is stressful enough!" I calmed down, and my eyes turned back to its original color. "Sorry, Sis..." "That's oka--"
"OH NO!! The dragon girl!"I raced out the doors and ran to the beach. There she was. Just floating there. I took off my shirt and pants and dove in.

I was about to drag he rto shore until a kraken had showed up wanting to devour her. "Darn it! SWORD!!!" My sword had appeard in my hand. Its sharpness was like no other,enough to tear Earth's crust in fact! I dove underwater making illusions so the enormus squid would get confused. I finally came from behind and torpedoed at it. The sword had easily pierced its slimy skin. The kraken was defeated! "Too easy, like fighting a twig!" I swan back to the maiden that laid like she was dead. Apparently she was an unknown type of dragon. She looked gorgeous, nothing I've ever seen before, beyond words. She had the most radiant body I've ever seen!

I examined her a little more. She was a white colored dragon (pretty rare). I noticed the shape of her ears that she may be a water type dragon. I read her past thoughts so I can see how she ended up this way. My readings showed that brigands were using her as a tool, only a figure to play with for their own pleasure. They treated her poorly. Raping her was the most part that I hated. I stopped reading her mind, and did what I did best: Healing. When I did the dragon damsell woke up and checked her surroundings. She saw me holding her hand, thinking I was on of those brutes. "No! Stop! Don't rape me! I...I didn't do anything wrong!" She jumped up and backed away from me.

"No, no! It's alright! I saved you!" She looked puzzled. "You...you're not one of them?" She seemed shy. "No, I saved your life! You're gonna be okay." "Stay back!" Her hidden powers had pinned me to the castle walls. "W-Well, I know that you can give alot of pain..." She walked toward me slowly. "Can I trust you?" "Yea, just get me down form here!! I'm hungry!" She held her stomach because of the monsterous growl that came form her stomach. "Well..." I bursted out laughing. "WOW!! I think you're hungry, too! C'mon, I'll take you in. You should meet the whole family! All except one..." She looked curious. "Who?" A serious look came upon my face. "Uncle Larry...Man, do I hate the guy! He always seems to bet the gentlemanly type, but behind tah smile is an evil heart. He always tries to take over this castle so this could be the starting point of world domination. That idiot's always trouble....AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"

She looked around frantically. "What!? What's wrong!?" "You're naked..." "Oopps..." "Don't worry I'm no rapist." "Oh, well that's good." She placed her hand on the side of my face. I thought she was gonna come in for a kiss, but I didn't react. "Don't think about the darkness of people or you'll become blind, and want to kill that person." She kissed me mouth to mouth. "I thank you... for saving me." I stood there shocked as she walked into the castle on the permission of guards. That was one of the greatest kiss I've ever felt. "I think I'm.........hungry," I said holdin my stomach. I walked inside to get my mother's famous cooking. My ears had perked up, and my tail wagged as I thought about her.

That's is (I guess) Chapter 1

This is all I'm posting today. Look in tomorrow afternoon to read more! :D

PS: Sorry if the story sounds evrywhere and outside the box

Okay! Chapter 2!



I was just relaxing in a opening in the forest where everything was at peace. I was taking my daily nap, but then I smelt lunch nearby. I ran off toward the prey. It was only a measly deer, easy to catch. I stealthily approached the unaware faun. "Hmmm...," I said, "this one looks real good..." I scurried to the bushes nearest to the faun. Then I leaped out and killed by one bite to the neck. "I love my life," I said as I ate. The preys blood was ruining my silver fur, but I didn't mind. I heard something in the distance. I left my kill there, and ran to the place where I heard this sound. When I neared to the destination, it wasn't just a sound. It was music.

When I got there I saw that same dragon girl that I saved before. She was playing the harp. The harmony had sounded so beautiful to me. It was like I was in paradise, where everyone was happy and carefree. I walked towards the dragon maiden. I got close enough to where she could pet me. I shook the blodd off my fur, then used my powers so that the stains would go away. The girl stopped playing. "Hello, wolf," she said in the sweetest melody. "Ummm," I said, "it's me, Leon." She looked surprised. "Oh! Well, hello, Leon. How are you doing?" "Just wondering if the breakfast this morning was good." She nodded. "Oh, yes, it was delightful. Your mother knows how to cook perfessionally."

I changed back into my human form. "Hey, I got a few questions." I sat down beside her wanting her to feel comfortable. She seemed to accept it. "What is it?" "I...didn't get your name..." She smiled. "My name is Ouri, and I got everyone else's name instead of yours." She held my arm. "What's your name?" "Leon..." She looked surprised. "You're THE Leon Spearman, Swordsman of the Arcerous!?" I nodded. "So you're the one I was searching for..." "Huh?" "Well, I was supposed to meet you when you were at least 18, but now that you're 23, this is good enough." I looked puzzled at the enigmatic girl. "What are you talkin' about?" She turned red in the face. "I...was sent to the castle...to marry you." I fell off the rock we were sitting on. "W-Would you run that by me one more time!? I think you said you were sent here to marry me!" Ouri nodded.

"For what reason?" "Well, you did save all of us dragons from a sinister figure named Larry, right?" "Uncle Larry?" She nodded "Exactly! I was supposed to marry you because you saved me from him that day. My parents thought that was a great idea. I....thought so, too." "And you were kidnapped by brigands when you were on your way here, right?" "Yes. They killed the driver and destroyed my transportation here. I have stayed there for almost a month for the men's pleasure, nohting else."
I shook my head. "So, you're not a virgin, are you?" "Well, actually I still haven't lost my virginity yet." I fell off the rock and into the lake out of surprise. "How the heck did you stay away from them!?" "I teleported." "Why didn't you do that earlier!?" "Well I was weak at the time."

I got out of the pond and sat beside the rock she sat on. "Changin' the subject, You've seen me in my wolf form. Let me see your dragon form." She nodded. "Okay!" I had to stand back for this because she would be towering over the trees. That's how big dragons are. Not up to the clouds, though. Big gusts of wind had made me immoble for the time. The debries of leaves and sticks were trying to go around me. I flew back into a tree that gave numbing pain. When the gust had ended, a gigantic white dragon had stood in Ouri's place. She looked beatiful even if she was in that form!

"Whoa!" I had to flex my neck almost all the way back just to see her head. She reached down to pick me up. I had climbed on to her enormous claw to see her face. She still had the beautiful, green eyes and even voice she had before. "What do you think?" "I still think that your gorgeous. Y' know, the way your scales are evenly placed." "Thank you!" She gave me a wet love lick. "Hey," I said pretending to be mad, "You ruined my hair!" "Oops!" We both laughed. "We still have enough time to swim. C'mon let's go." She changed back. "Yes, let's."

I took off my shirt and pants for the swim. She took off her robe that matched her appearance in beauty. We both dove in unison, and swam gracefully in the crystal clear water. Then I smelt something. Something, like a cat. I came out of the water leaving Ouri there. "Whats wrong?" she asked. I sniffed a few more times. "It's something like a cat, but it's not fully a cat, y'know what I mean?" "Yes, I smell that, too." I scanned the whole area, but I didn't see the figure. "Hey," I shouted, "if you don't want to die show yourself!" The figure had revealed itself from a nearby tree.

My sences were correct in someways. She was a catgirl, but not of this planet. "Ummm..." The girl stood back. "Are you gonna make me a slave, too?" She seemed innocent enough, harmless even.

Take a wild guess what this species is!

Hint: Flora

PS: I'm sorry if this sounds a little corny. Tune in tonight or tomorrow to see the rest of the chapter! :D

watch out for typos that make other words

Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy Seriph of Al-Yabi was cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated. Some two thousand Glods later the spell wore off. These days, the people of Al-Yabi are renowned for being remarkably short and bad-tempered. -- Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

And my own experience:
A friend: "let's go see satan!"
A friend: "santa* ..."
me: "LMAO!! BEST TYPO EVAR!!!"

*starts to laugh* That was the most funniest sh*t I've ever typed!! Thanks for pointin' out, Blaze. I made the correction so that the post could be corrected. I'm sorry that I kinda lost my temper back there. No hard feelings, right?

Okay! Continuing on!

I examined the mysterious catgirl. "You're..." She got on her knees and cried. "Okay, I'm yours to keep! Just take me in as a slave!" I thought she was crazy. "Hey," I said, "I don't even want a slave! I have servants, but no slaves, got it?" She looked up at me. "You...you're not...gonna hurt me?" "No! never! Why would I anyway?" She suddenly pounced on me while digging her claws into my flesh. That hurt like sh*t!! "Thank you so much, kind sir!" "Hey," I said in pain, "First: get your claws out of my back!" "Oops..." "Second: don't call me 'sir', you make me sound old." "Leon," Ouri said, "maybe she could live at the castle with us." "Yea," I said, "She could, but not as a slave." The catgirl pounced once again without digging her claws. "Thanks, Leon" "Yea, don' t mention it. Oh, yeah, no one in there doesn;t get punished on hoiw poorly they do. The servants just get fired, but not harshly."

Ummm, Leon," Ouri said looking at her watch, "It's dinner time. Let's go back." I smiled. "Sure! We're gonna have a feast tonight anyway! I want you to meet my grandpa and grandma! They're the best!" "Really?" Ouri said smirking. "All I have to say is they don' t look like an old sac of bones, okay. Lance's potion makes you look and stay young for as long as you live! Isn't that amazing!?" "Wow," the catgirl said, "I wish I had that potion right no--" "Wish granted!" A blue potion in a bottle had appeared in my hand. The girl stared at it in awe. "Is this it?" "YeaaaaaaAHHHHHHH!!!" "What!? What's wrong!?" The catgirl had looked around frantically while my jaw was still on the ground. "You're...naked..." She looked back at me. "Huh? Oh, this? So what? I'm an animal. We were born naked." "So was I. Your point?"

The cat sighed. "Aw forget it! Let's just go inside." Ouri shivered. "Yes. It is cold out here." I held the two girls close to me. "Well, I make you guys stay warm!" Ouri and the cat blushed. "So," I said, "exactly when are you gonna drink that potion?" "Oh, yeah!" The catgirl had lifted the cork and drank. "Mmmmmmm," she said, "grape flavored!" Ouri used her kinetic powers and made the bottle float to her. "Are you sure?" "Yea, taste it!" She drank abd looked slightly younger, about 21 now. "You look better," I said, "both of you." "Oh, thanks!" they said. We walked in with the smell of my mom's cooking filling in our nostriles.

*shivers* I'd never drink it, for one, it's grape, bleh, two, have you ever thought of how terrible being immortal would be? You only thought of the fact that yu live forever, right? What about when you take blows that would normally kill someone? Having to live through it and keep feeling that pain... and never leaving the world... outliving every person you ever hold dear... death never being an escape... I'd hate to live forever... oh, but of course, you'd just heal, and no doubt your defensive powers are so strong you'll never take a deathblow, and you can just pop a potion up whenever you want, and everyone can be immortal and be happy. With a steady supply of that potion, what would happen if an enemy got their hands on it? or if a friend who drank it betrayed you? or if you were captured? they could torture you forever, and you'd never die... I'm not trying to be rude, just trying to tell you your story lacks any evil, aside from people telling of bad past experiences, but if anything bad happens, you are so mega powerful you could look and them, and they'd die. I don't know why I think like this... I'm sorry...

When you say that you're sorry it kinda feels like I'm the Grim Reaper. I hate that feeling, so don't say sorry! The grape flavored thing was just a joke.

Everyone of noble birth and citizens around the world had come to the feast. They were having a great time, dancing, music, kareoke (which I'm great at), and food, much like a college party. Of course, there were some drunks there since they were dirnking sake (however you spell it), beer, and red wine. I was having a great time with Ouri. Me dancing was known around the world so everyone watched when I danced. Lance, of course, wasn't going down without a challenge! "Leon," he said, "dancing contest, you and me, okay?" I nodded. "Sure!" (Okay, now let's just skip the contest!)

The contest ended in a tie! Lance and I had won 1st, drunken people were in 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. "Okay, now that was wierd," Mom said, "Why were there drunk people in the contest?" I shrugged. Now it was time to eat. We all said our blessings instead of the goths that attended. We had no problem with them now that the guards had kicked them out. "I remember," Leona said cuddling up on me, "when you and me went behind the castle, an--" I covered her mouth and laughed nervously. "She crazy. Don't worry about what she says, people!"

Everything seemed quite despite the sounds of the clanking sliver ware against the plates. The servants would take the plates and put them in the humomgous dishwasher when the person was finished. I excused myself from the table. "Attend me!" Two guards had run up to see what I needed. "It's gonna be a full moon tonight. Chain me up in the best chains we have!" The guards had taken me into the dungeon, and put me in a cell with the best chains they had. They had left me there, just hanging from the ceiling.

Mom had called out to the nobles, "We had better take refuge. Leon will go berserk at midnight! Hurry!" Everyone, but Lance, had left the castle. Mom had stopped to look at him. "Aren't you coming, Lance? He may kill you." Lance had not said a word to her. She sighed and ran out the door as fast as she could to the underground hideout. Right now it was 11:55 p.m. I was singing to myself some childhood songs so that I would be calm for the time being. "People," I said to myself, "Please get away from here! I...I don't wan't anyone to die..." Then the clock struck twelve.

There was a bright red flash that filled the dungeon in a blood red tent. There was a red aura around be indicating that of a transformation. My eyes turned from blue to red in an instant. My hair had messed itself up, and black tips were on the bangs of my hair. My fangs grew bigger, my claws grew sharper, and I had a craving for bloodshed. I had changed into a wolf with black markings on the side of my face. The body was enormous in size. I had become berserk!

I struggled out of the chains and broke out of the cell, lusting for the blood of others. I had busted threw the doors of the dungeon, and raced out of the open doors of the castle. I had run all the way up to a cliff where I could be seen in a stilleto in front of the moon. I howled to notify everyone of my insane presence. Then I had jumped off of the cliff, landing on a civilian's house, and crushing the life out of anyone who dwelled inside its contents. I saw a buffalo cowaring in fear of my lust for blood. I quickly pounced on the prey, and had ripped out his heart. All the blood had splattered everywhere on my face.

I was feasting off of the kill. Then I sought out to kill something else. I decided that it could wait. I was going to destroy a town into ruin! I raced off to the nearest town. People were evacuating from it because of the news of the rampant wolf that was hell bent on detroying the town. When I had arrived, the people were still evacuating. I decided to kill them off before any escaped. I had torn threw the lives of women and children first. The men had come last. There was so much blood on my face that it looked like a wolf demon from Hell. The men had instead ran away.

Then I had destroyed the town and raced off to see what was there to kill or destroy next. I went to the peak of Archon's mountain to see the vast terrain of the area. I then senced something. Something with power equal to mine. That power was racing up from behind me. When I turned to look I was blinded by its scratch. I fell off the peak, into the forest that surrounded the mountain. The figure had landed on top of me, seeming that it wanted me dead. I kicked it off with my forefeet so the figure could hit the tree in front of me. When I examined it it seemed that it was another berserk wolf, only female.

I bit the side of her neck so I could hear the yipping of her voice. She then kicked me off of her. She had quickly stood up and growled. I got up slowly so that it would think of me as weak. When she jumped at me I had turned around and hit her away with my tail. I growled so I could intimidate her. Of course, it didn't work. She had got up and begane to strafe. I had done the same. We stared each other down until one of us had made the first move. She was stupind enough to attack first. The figure that she stared at was just an illusion. I had jumped on her from behind and pinned her down so I cound examine her. "Who are you?" She did not answer. She had only tried to bite my muzzle. Luckly I had fast reflexes.

Okay I'm gonna get off now. Remember this: I can control when I go berserk now, so you don't have to worry about this storyteller bitin' your head off. :D

I love where the storys going ( even if its blatenly obvious that it was written by a guy -crossed arms and taps toe-)! :roll:
anyway, about the transformation. is this a man-becomes-were-wolf trasformation or inu yasha-demon-time of the month thing?
last thing, theres a scene that seems to contradict its self. the one were Ouri knew leons name, then all of a sudden says that she never introduced each other. (i honestly think i miss read the passage, but...)
I thought id let you know


keep up the good work!

Ummm...yeah, you missread the passage. About the demon thing: Nothing about demons at all. No relation to Inuyasha at all. No were wolf (well kinda). Just a gigantic, berserk wolf that terrorizes your house. Oh yeah! I decided that you guys can join in the story IF YOU LIKE

She had only missed by an inch. Then I bit her on her muzzle so that she could be stunned for a little. When she had fell back I had jumped on top of her before she could react. "Who are you?" She had spit blood in my eye. "Like that's any of your business! Now get off of me!" She struggled, but her efforts had failed for her escape. "If you don't cooperate," I said, "I'll rip your throat out!" She had stopped struggling.

She then calmed down and layed down for a chat. I did so as well. "I'm much like you, Leon." I looked surprised. "How do you know my name?" She laughed. "Well, you are famous. Word goes around Cerinea quickly, y'know." "Yea true that..." She stared at me, scanning me. "Hmph! Well rumors saying that you were handsome were true after all!" I laughed. "Ha! Well, y'know..." Of course, we were having a good time chating and telling about ourselves. It was a good thing because we weren't destroying any villages or towns or cities. "Hey look there!"


It was Lance! "You okay?" He looked at the other wolf that was walking with me. "C'mon," He said, "Let's help her get to the shelter."

"Are you crazy!?" "No, and besides, it's almost 6:00 a.m." "Wha--" I then changed back into human form and laid there asleep, The feminan wolf had transformed back to normal too. She fainted. "Leon, you crazy fool," Lance said as he picked both of us up. He walked all the way back to the shelter, where all friends and family were in hiding.

Ps: My brother has joined the forum. This is my BIG brother, not the annoying little pest I've been talking about. Give him a warm welcome when you see him. :D

What do you mean? like we tell you about our charaters, and you put them in? or we tell that part of story? cause I wouldn't want to play someone else's characer, and screw up what they wanted the character to be like. But if you wanted, I could describe my chaacter if you'd want me in the story? I don't have time to do it now, but i'll try later today.