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Ok, here goes. A rant by me, won't this be intresting.



Well then. What's on my mind? A lot of things. What's on my mind that's bugging me? Not so much. But still a few things.

This for example. I have been thinking a lot about the afterlife. But not really for religious reasons. Rather for the reason of friends and family. Something that I noticed as the summer started this year, was that as I finished High School, I left a lot of my life behind me. Something I have never done before. I have never moved to another town, no great events have shook my world. I've had one or two people die around me, some closer than others, but none of them really close enough to be called family. But now, as me and my fellow class mates are going seperate ways, I feel a big emptiness inside of me. Simply because they've been a part of my life for as long as I can remeber, and now they aren't. And I have never experienced that before. I can't say that I liked them all, not even close, but it stills feels weird.
Knowing that we will never hear from or see eachother again. It just feels empty. Though I fully know that I'll be meeting a lot of people soon enough as I start college, I can't help but feel that it won't be the same. And I've allways been a person who loathes changes.
And so, I've been thinking. Maybe we will see and hear from eachother once again? In the afterlife. In heaven or hell. Maybe that last day of school wasn't goodbye forever. I comfort myself with this idea, and not only because I might meet friends from the past once I die. But for the reason that I hope that I might meet my family again there. That when my parents, and grandmothers and grandfathers die, it will not be goodbye for forever. That I will see them again. It is something that is necessary for me to beleive in, for there is nothing I fear more than death.
And still not only for the reason of getting too meet friends and family that might die in the future. But to get to meet family I never had the chance to know, who are allready dead. Both of my grandfathers are dead, and I've never gotten to know them. Well, atleast my father's father is, he died before my dad even met my mom. But my mother's father was just a one night stand for my grandmother. And I've never gotten to meet him either. Even though we know where he lives.
So, as I've been saying, I've been thinking a lot about the afterlife. About wether or not it's real. Why it would be, and why it should be. Why I and other people need it to be. Why I need to know that there is a God. And that he will bring me and all the peolpe I've ever known and ever will get to know together again once our time here is over.
And, I am troubled. The world today has so much proof towards that heaven and hell does not exist. That when we die, we simply cease to be. That we do not feel. Do not think. Do not remember. Do not see, do not hear. I can't even grasp what it would be like. And that is probably what scares me the most. That I do not understand.
And there is so much proof infact, that it's nearly convincing me. Even though I don't want it to. So I cling to my religion, to my comfort. Hoping that it's true. That it's real, that it's all not just cooked up nonsense, like so many people seems to want me to beleive it is. Because I NEED to beleive that it's real.
I'm actually not quite sure why I'm writing this here. To begin with it was so that you all would have something intresting to read. If you can call this [censored] intresting, that is. I'm not too sure about that. I've never been an intresting person.
Anyways, this was my rant. Hope you enjoyed reading it, or something. Though you probably didn't. Gues it's to emo for your taste.

It's odd, today, you seem to be realizing and experiencing what I went through the first 10 years of my life about. I realization in the existence of death and the possibility of it as an eternal end with nothing to go along with it but nothing. I also experience the same questioning and wondering at the existence of god, except perhaps reversed. I went through much of my life as an atheist, and only in the past couple of years began to question that into my current agnosticism. Too many things go unanswered with either solution, god or no, for me to accept either as a total truth. It scared me as a kid, and I would often worry about the nothingness that followed death. Mostly, it's best to move past it and not dwell upon it, what is to happen will happen, and all the scholarly thought in the world will be unable to change it. If your religion gives you comfort, I advise you keep it.


As for leaving those around you, that's a very understandable thing. It's hard to loose big or small parts of your life. For example, I still sometimes look back upon my time in the last forum I was on in mourning. You can always keep in touch with old friends, we have the internet now and I know when this forum dies in however many years, I intend to keep in touch with many members of it.


And Mike, it's not polite to spam.
It's really [censored] hatty to spam a rant thread.

Should have read the post... Have a few near death experiences like me and we'll talk about what the afterlife is like.

Being an atheist has never even crossed my mind. I've been a christian all my life. My parents aren't really devoted to the church, I would infact say that I'm more serious about our religion than they are, so they haven't been the ones pushing me to stay christian. It just feels right, and allways has.

As for the topic of death. As wise as your advise may be, I have actually tried. But I'm not the kind of guy that can walk through life ignoring things that bother and scare me. I can't help but to dwell on it. Because I feel that I need answers.

And as for old forums, been there. In a way. I was a frequenter on the WoW RP forum before I closed down my account over the summer. And though I'm not really mourning that time since i know I'm going back there soon, I've still felt the emptiness of not being able to contact the friends I've made there. And I can imagine what it would feel like if I was never going back.

You can't logic the fear of death away. It's not going to be an immediate thing. For the years I spent dwelling on the terror death generated in me, I knew these things already, but they don't help. It was only after I had grown up a lot that I got past it. For now, I've found the best way to do it is to do something which doesn't let you think. Often when I felt like this, I would watch TV to distract me.

Mmm it's perfectly normal to question death and the afterlife (if there is/isn't) Sithil, I think everyone does it at some point or another. Religion wise my folks changed nearly every other year (Muslim, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, and Taoist from what I remember...I don't really fall under any one), every one of em has a different outlook on death and what you can/can't do. Best you can do is go with your heart on the matter (at least that's what I did, took the lessons that came of each and used em to build a strong morale foundation). Death happens, it's part of the natural cycle, there's no point in fearing it or what comes after. We all find out in the end aye? I just try to enjoy life, focus on the hear and now, enjoy what I have while it lasts. Whether there is or isn't I figure I'll find out, and so long as I've lived a life with little regret and without harming others I'm not concerned about it. |D

(sorry if I rambled and it's not of any help, kinda just let myself go ^^')

Death is the final adventure in ones life, one should not fear it but accept it and enjoy it... I find it comforting to think that one day I will pass into a place that no one knows anything about... People just guess at what lies beyond but they cannot truly know because no one has ever came back (don't go all religious on me I'll crack you like an egg.) I tend to think that there is a heaven and hell but I try to think more of what heaven would be like... A massive pile of steel and a hammer & forge... That is heaven to me.

Well, that doesen't work for me either. Because that's pretty much the base for my fear of death. To not be able to think. To not be able to understand. Those are necessities for me in life. If I don't understand what's going on around me, I just break down. I have the urge to understand EVERYTHING. To know as much as possible so that I can understand things better. It's far from healthy, but at the same time I wouldn't want to get rid of that part of me if I had the chance. It's the base for who I am.
Wich is why I dwell on the matter. Because I want to understand it. And it's also why I fear it. Because I can't understand it. I'm not saying that I'm letting it overshadow all the good things in life, it's just that I can't let it go. That I won't be able to let it go. But hey, that's the kind of [censored] you're just going to have to live with, right? :grin:

Mmm only reason I say it is cause I was exactly where you are about 3 years ago, questioned it to the point that it was all that was on my mind. Was just sharin' my conclusion from it all ^^

Different things work for different folks. I wish ya the absolute best it finding your conclusion Sithil |D

For now, but it will almost certainly pass as time goes on. It's instinct to fear death, and it's human to try to understand it, but eventually, you'll accept it's something that you cannot personally determine, and the thoughts of it fade.

You can't understand what you do not know... I heard that somewhere, I dunno where but just thought it was interesting. I also think that when the time comes you won't wanna understand it you will just be like WT *dead*

There's more proof that God exists than you'd think. I'd suggest really digging deep into your Bible. You're likely to find your answers in it.

*Has had exactly the same experience as Keldoth...minus the fear fading part...*
<<;

I also came to that same stone-cold conclusion early in life...my parents have always been religious, so I was dragged to church for the first 20-so years, but it never did anything for me. I knew it was not what I believed, and it brought me no comfort. I've never moved into the "acceptance" phase of dealing with it - I seriously spent years and years with little to no sleep, as the thoughts of nothingness swirled around in my head in the quiet and darkness of the night. I will admit that I'm not so absolutely terrorized by the thought nowadays, but I do have to fall asleep while watching a video or television, just to keep my mind from thinking and keeping me awake...

So, as was said previously, if you have a religion that comforts you, that gives you hope - KEEP IT - cling to it for dear life and never let go...
<<;

0_o and I thought I had it [censored]ty....
I don't know what personally changed for me. Now, even in considering nothingness, there's no longer any fear. In fact, it might be a bit nice, when I'm old and sick and tired of life, I think it would be pretty nice, no worries, no fears, no one who pisses you off *Shrugs*

I came to the conclusion that a religion was just a social structure developed out of the need for people to feel connected in the past. while the religion served as a outlet for peoples fears, it also gave them something on which to blame any of the bad things in life and on which to place hopes for the good in life. In today's society, at least in my opinion, the religious society tends to be less necessary for people to feel connected with one another. While i was raised as a southern baptist, I came to feel that religion has been, was, and still is being used for the persecution of many people as well as a safety net for those dealing the punishment. While religion in the older times was used as a "rock solid" set of rules to live by, they became nothing more that justification. The values of these religions are the remaining positives most of which have been incorporated into our general mindset as a race. So to rap up a rather pointless and long post, over time I decided for myself at least that not everything in any given religious text is true ( due mainly to the fact that the religious texts are written based on mans subjective interpretation of true) and the concept of a religion was like a warm blanket, an incentive system to do the right thing, and rather than devote myself to any one sect, to take what i consider to be the best of what is out there and mix it all into one personal moral set.