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Hello. I thought I'd share this latest bit of writting with you. It's a space comedy and I'm working with an artis to bring it into the world of webcomics currently. But I'm also taking a stab at writting it in the form of a book too, so here is the very frist chapter. Comments and Crits are welcome, not just on the writting but on the characters and jokes as well. Though there aren't many jokes in this first chapter :P
Anyways. I hope you enjoy :D
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That Space Thing: Book 1 - To Steal A Princess.
Chapter 1
Dex stood tall and proud with hands on hips and a look that commanded respect. His dark slick hair shimmered in the bright lighting of his space ship; his pretty boy face smiled and his big chocolate brown eyes sparkled.
Another mission and this time, he was going to score big time, no doubt about it. Dex, intergalactic space thief was going to make a name for himself.
He was a brash young man, full of misplaced self-confidence and self-importance and never more then now had he felt like a true captain. He had his lackeys eagerly awaiting his orders, he had his black leather captain jacket draped lazily over his shoulders, his arms hanging loosely in the sleeves and above all else there was a level of professionalism in the air.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” CJ asked sticking his hand up like a child might do to ask permission from a teacher. CJ was an enigma of a man. He carried an air of total child like innocence, his soft blue eyes and lightly spiked blonde hair only adding to his playful ignorance. He sat there with his legs crossed, hand waving madly in the air, sporting his favourite T-shirt. A light blue number with the slogan “I heart cake” written across it in bold lettering.
“I told you to go before we left” Dex sighed. His delusions of competent crew shattered into pieces only seconds into the mission. He tried to glare at CJ but found it impossible, how could he get mad at CJ? They had been best friends for what seemed like forever and he had stuck with him through thick and thin.
“But we haven’t left yet.” CJ pouted.
“We left the living room that’s what counts” Dex replied being nothing short of petty.
CJ sank down in his chair, crossed his legs even tighter and made puppy dog eyes at his friend.
Dex melted and sighed once more. “Fine, go. Just don’t take too long.” he said.
CJ beamed a great big smile and jumped out of his seat. He happily skipped out of the bridge’s slide open doorway and clonked his way down the ship’s access ramp.
“I don’t see why he doesn’t just wait till we are on our way and then use the ships bathroom” came a grumpy comment from the ships navigator and resident robot LFX 303. L for short. He was a worn looking robot. His metallic grey shell had lost most of its shine and there were all manor of dents and scraps carved out of his body panels. Any repairs that had been done to him had been quick makeshift fixes and it showed. Most evident of these was his left hand replacement; instead of the normal 5 fingered attachment he had to make do with a two-pronged claw. His green eyes glowed dimly over the top of his workstation and his emotionless face watched through the front windows of the ship as CJ darted across the cargo bay.
“Because he’s scared if he flushes it he’ll be sucked into space” Dex said with conviction at first but then it slowly trailed off the closer he got to the end of the sentence and the more it dawned on him how daft a reason it actually was.
“Well that is hardly a surprise. This is the same man who believes emails are delivered by little tiny postmen that live in your computer system” spoke up the ships computer, his ridiculously pompous voice fizzing through the static of the intercom. The ships computer had always been a bit off with the crew ever since Dex decided to name him Autopilot. A name picked by randomly selecting a word from the ships instruction manual. This coupled with a glitch that Dex couldn’t be bothered to buy the patch for had left them with a bitter, sarcastic and utterly anti-social computer.
“Lay off him Autopilot” Dex said with a groan. He wasn’t in the mood for another of Autopilot’s rants. He was never in the mood for one of Autopilot’s pointless and truly quite tedious rants.
***
A few minutes later CJ returned from the bathroom and pranced into the cockpit like he had achieved something great. Dex noticed that he had his shirt half tucked into his underwear and a long piece of toilet roll was stuck to the sole of his shoe and trailed behind him like a streamer. Dex didn’t have the time to sort him out. Now was the time for action and he took in a deep breath and entered captain mode.
“Let’s get this show on the road” he said in an overly dramatic way which stemmed from watching to many cheap action movies. He took up a pose, dynamic and exaggerated.
“Main engines?” Dex asked. He then heard them whir into action the ship shuddered into life.
“Ignited” Autopilot confirmed.
Dex smiled and turned his attention towards L. “Thrusters?” he asked his voice letting on that he was getting increasing excited. L pressed a few of the buttons on the control panel in front of him, and then repeated the sequence again, and again. He looked over at Dex, who was now becoming slightly disheartened, and then kicked the console hard. It bleeped at him, quite possibly swearing in machine code, then finally it’s panel lit up and the thrusters buzzed into life.
“Engaged” L said as he nodded toward his captain.
Dex spun in a circle and pointed to CJ who sat in front of his very own terminal, in charge of what was all he was deemed capable of.
“Pop tarts?” Dex asked.
CJ looked down at the toaster they had built into an old ship control console. He pressed the hugely oversized red button just in front of it and two smoking, charcoal black pop tarts flew out of the top of his control-toaster and welded themselves to the roof of the bridge.
“Cooked to perfection” he beamed, completely oblivious to what had been a massive failure in culinary skill.
Dex smiled back at him sweetly, if CJ was happy then who was he to tell him that he was absolutely useless. Taking up another overly dramatic pose her punched the air and sang out “Then lets fly!”. He dived into his seat and grabbed a hold of the steering wheel. He punched the launch code into the console by his head and slammed the ship into full throttle.
A nano second later there was a rather loud crunching sound, shortly followed by a crashing sound and finally topped off with Autopilot colouring the air blue with some of the most vile language ever to be spewed forth by a ships personality. Dex had just inadvertently flown the ship straight into the closed cargo bay doors.
“aww crap…” he sighed, flopping into his chair like a rag doll.
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