Twokinds ARCHIVE Forums

Any one want to try a demo of my game?
Download at:
http://files.filefront.com/Eternal+gale ... einfo.html
(warning may include Bad spelling and grammar)
Please leave feed back.

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this topic.
This seemed like the best board for it.

Grammar critique! My specialty!
Ok. First: the title screen. Grab a pen, some paper, and a scanner. MS paint isn't too friendly towards anything that looks good. Other than that, the music is pleasant, and nothing else is wrong.

Second:
First box of text: the first 'to' should be a 'too'.

second box: Insert a question mark after Oh yeah(?). and after 1000G put the word 'that'

third box: Nothing major. A period after fine would make it better though.

Third: scenery change! first box: comma after Well.
second box: i'm to I'm. (capital I)
Until the next floor, no problems. I'll play through more and make notes.

EDIT: Ok, animation problems. The walking animation continues even after you've stopped.
Nice battle transitions. slimes do 7 damage out of... 466? (I'm at level 2. Now they do 2. Seems like a bit little) Are slimes a bit underpowered? Control listings also needed. I clicked on LIT force and it took me a while to figure out how to get back to the menu. (its zero on the keypad).

The bandit: Make him say something a bit more...bandit like and threatening. It sounds like if he just gets the treasure back, all will be well and our hero will be on his merry little way. he needs to be more assertive. "All the treasures here are mine give them back or face your doom" Period between mine and give. put 'of' between 'All' and 'the' at the beginning of the sentence. Also, more description never hurts. instead of 'here', put 'in this cave'. When he said 'here', I thought he meant the room behind him and I got confused.
"All of the treasures in this cave are mine. I'll kill you and take them back myself!"

After taking Elmer back to the hole in the cave, its instead, not insted.
Elmer's sprite looks like a girl XD. But there isn't anything wrong with that. Its because of his hair sticking out to the lower corners of his head.

At the item shop: question mark at the end of "How may I help you"

At the armor and weapons shop: Fix the spelling of Armor when trying to enter.

The dog owner's house: door is hard to find
All in all, i like it so far.

Ok, I will fix the grammar and spellings right away.
Title screen was only temporary any ways until I could get round to drawing one and using a scanner.

You walk on the spot on purpose but I put the event in the wrong place.

I am still working on how characters say things and what sounds good.
I have imported these pictures that come with RPG maker VX but are basically bonus resources that show more of the characters face and part of there body and the one for Elmer suggested he was male, but hey thats manga for you.

Tanks for your help you will see the corrected grammar in the next update of the demo.

well i like the title screen with the music. but if you could give a quick over of how you have the control set would be nice. i did find out the control but it toke a minute, also you need life bars for the enemies. but other wise i give it a star

in the next version there will be a manual and credits, for now use F1