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I be up in TwoKinds just workin on my rantin.

Women are gross.

Thats right, they are gross. Its a common misconception that men are nasty pigs with no sense of their own ugly nature...But I have brought to you the truth, and that truth is...that women are indeed the gross ones. Men may be hairy, men may sweat perfusely and in odd places...men may be gruff and be subject to all kinds of bodily expulsions and sounds...but thats just nature, not much you can do about that...all very healthy things.

Women seem to think that its okay to talk about things only your doctor should know about. They seem to think that their friends enjoy conversations about their tampax, and when their crotch bleeds. Theres no better evidence than this then women's hygiene commercials. Take a look at the newest tampon commercials for women. They have lately been using visual references to give you a picture of what the tampon actually does inside your body. For instance they will have a group of women jumping and spreading their legs to show how old tampons only expand width wise...but the new "REVOLUTIONARY" tampon opens all around for superior protection....so then they show basically women dancing around in colorful dresses. I'm sure you all know about this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lvEOSrrwkg

JUST WATCH THAT MONSTROSITY! WHAT THE HOLY SWEET FRANCIS THE THIRD?!?!

You have heard me rant about that commercial before, but its just the staple for women's lack of conscious restraint. We don't want to know about that, we don't need you to make it sound like its fun to whoop out the "rePHresh" and slather a nice heeping goop on my cooter. They kind of took this sex and the city girl talk (which is retarded and unreal) and applied it to feminine ointments, birth control, and itch cremes. Have you seen the one where the woman is thinking to herself about how her vagina apperantly smells, and is afraid other people notice....WHAT THE ...WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?! Who cares if its a real problem, I don't need Jessica Simpson and the all star cast of "all my children" to give me a cheap dramatization of the thoughts of a woman with crotch issues. Women must have some deep junk they have to deal with...Everything seems to be some immense issue with them. They need to "chillax" and stop freaking out over everything. They need to get that stick out of their...er....maybe tampon out of their....they need to remove whatever is in whatever section of their body that is making them so darn uptight.

They also need to get over themselves...Men would last alot longer if all the women disappeared then women if all the men disappeared. We may need each other equally to keep humanity going...but they need men alot more then we need them. So it makes me mad when women get high and mighty up there, with their female empowerment, their stuck up attitudes (for some reason I'm feeling really light headed at the moment, weird), and how they constantly undermine us. So look women, stop telling guys that its our duty basically, to come up to you and ask you out when all you do is give us that cold look and tell us to get lost. Oh and then don't go around complaining how there are no good guys, all you women ever claim to want is a bad guy, and when you get a bad guy...what do you have? A BAD GUY!!!!!! your poor relationship is your own fault for choosing bad guys. Im so sick of getting that soul killing, confidence destroying look from women when you show any kind of attention towards them. That pisses me off so much, that they think that they are so much better then me that they can't even must up a freaking smile and say hi back. Okay I'm feeling weird, and Im getting weird dizzyness accompanied by all day headaches...so I better cut this short. *cuts it short*

Fuzzle, I'll be the first to warn you about the onslaught of probably angry and argumentative comments that you're going to get.

But let me address one of your points: the "grossness" of women talking about their periods and their hygiene.
Firstly, it's very obvious that you're male. You've never had a period, you've never experience the pain of it, the inconveniencing, the horrible insecurity about having to hide it from the world because it's some dirty horrible thing and that you're not doing everything you can to protect others from the knowledge. Women have to talk about their periods. Depending on the woman, it affects us from five days to two weeks a month, when you get into the way it [censored] with your emotions and causes physical pain. Also depending on the woman, the amount of physical pain can go from negligible to crippling (I'm of the latter, believe me, I'm not exaggerating). Periods are a very important part of female life. Therefore, since our brains work differently and we process emotion differently and form social bonds differently and...heck, we're different! ...We talk about it with each other. Those commercials are designed for women, you just happen to get in the way. Talking shares the pain, the amusing stories, the embarrassing stories, everything. Talking makes something the world tells us we need to shut up and hide and deal with into something, well, normal. Yes, I think tact and discretion is appropriate, but as for the commercials, they're addressing issues that are very important to women in both health and comfort (very important, believe me. Tampons are no walk in the park and neither are pads...anything that helps with comfort is very appreciated). Let them be.

And not all women are as you paint them. I'm actually deeply offended and hurt by your entire post, but I know the ones you're talking about.

Oh don't be hurt. Everyone knows I'm doing this in good fun. I don't think of women in such a negative way. Fuzz likes the ladies :3

I'm sure some women will be upset, but honestly this is focused mainly on the horrible TV appearances of women. I mean sure women may need/want to talk to other women about their daily hardships, but I think their advertisements could be done quite a bit better, and with alot more discretion. I mean come on, I'm not here attacking women, I would advise all of you to take my ranting lightly. If you want me to level the playing field I'll go off on a tangent about men. The commercials of course are designed for women, but face it.....they are bad....they are very very bad. I could not imagine you would be deeply offended and hurt by that, by now you have to know how I rant and for what reason. You guys are making it pressingly difficult for me to get onto different issues...

Well its 5:20 now so I'm editing this to add a little update. The update is that I feel like throwing up now >_< I've been feeling weird all day, bad headache in the morning, a little headache all day long, now I have that salivating feeling right in your chin, like below the tongue, that same feeling you get right before you throw up. So...I sure hope I don't throw up. So I'm just up playing pokemon and watching the news >_>....

In all honesty, you could probably rant about men with alot less nasty comments. (Psst. America's still sexist, we just turned it around. You're fighting an uphill battle, Fuzz.)

I think, in all honesty, Fuzz is like Rush Limbaugh- he's taken seriously, but he's not supposed to be. I still laugh at the people who were like "OMG RUSH LIMBAUGH HATES TEH FURRIES..." lawl.

Anyway.

Ninja, away! *choom*

...*now considers a rant of his own*

*Goes to the war room*

I like Rush Limbaugh :3

But my favorite is Kirby Wilbur, then I like Micheal Savage because he gets out alot of anger that I want to get out.

I live alone with my mom when that time comes I hide in my room, she gets scary I have to hide EVERYTHING I may have done that will get me in trouble. BUT I dont think that stuff makes them the grosses, just scarier 8)

Thanks, Fuzz ^_^ Sometimes I forget you mean no harm, your rants are quite heated, you must admit.

If you want some fuel for ranting about men, ever, go watch some Spike TV commercials. *shudder* I swear, if it weren't for the fact that they play Star Trek for me, I'd gouge my eyes out.

Can do. As a guy, I can tell you tons of horror stories that would fuel a bonfire. But one of my favorite Spike commercials (partly because it's true, partly because it's exaggeration) was that one about the new Hardees chili cheese thickburger. It shows the guy eating this massive, messy burger and spilling the meat all over the plate while finally using fries to clean up.

These commercials aren't completely true, but it's the comedic aspect that makes me like them. I can make fun of guys all day long, because I know most of what I'll say is true. Girls may have that time of the month, but guys accumulate much, much worse over the same span of days.

Imagine a bunch of drunken frat boys. Now imagine a woman. Who is more disgusting? At least most women have the manners to hold their bodily gasses. But hey, we're guys. To us, belching, farting, etc are all normal, but we still don't do them around women. Around guys, it's game time, but we still hold off and be polite around the opposite sex. Most women do the same thing.

Actually, a bunch of drunken frat women would be alot worse to men then drunken guys. I mean you can't compare drunk guys to regular women, its not even. And Its not that women have the manners, its just that they are physically different. I'm sure they are alot more concious about farting in a group of friends then guys...Guys do it because its funny, and it screws over all your friends :3

I'm more womanly in that aspect tho, I'm not walking around the house in a stained tank top, scratching my armpits, belching, and groaning. And you know, there is playing on stereotypes for comedy, and actually believing those stereotypes, like I see far to much. For instance, the only way to get a woman is in a club apperantly, and if you have one grey hair, the wrong deodorant, and don't have smooth one liners and a box of trojans, your going to be some kind of looser....wait, I think thats a different rant. And heck, I'm far more aware of the grossness of women because I obviously veiw them in a far different way then men. I'm supposed to be attracted to them, and when I see some of the things that I see...or hear, that I shouldn't, Its like a critical hit. Whats stupid about these hygene commercials, or the commercials that deal with (dirty) subjects like this, their is no middle ground. Lemme explain. They are either right up in your face with nasty facts and information, or they are so vague it feels like they are talking to 2 year olds. For femenine products they wont hesitate to put on a cheesy play with horrible actors to convey the life of a woman struggling with vaginal uncomfortability...But when it comes to male enhancement...they JUST...wont...say...penis. They just pause and say "certain part of the male anatomy" and that could not get more annoying. I MEAN HOLY CRAP JUST SAY IT! Let me tell you, I wouldn't feel too comfortable taking advice from a doctor who talked to me like my life is a walking FCC.

"EXTENZE CAN ACTUALLY MAKE A MAN BIGGER????"

What? Am I going to get taller?! Is it going to make me fat? Its annoying because of how pathetically they try to dodge one simple little word. Oh wait, I think I got off the subject.

Spike TV commercials do suck. Like those 20 seconds of a hot girl thing that they do. Thats not only messed up...its insulting. As If I'm some kind of looser who wants to sit here and watch some "HOT" girl for 20 minutes do something stereotypical like eat a Popsicle.

So, basically you're not angry a the women themselves, but just at Cooperate America (and others) for trying to sell their products in this way. Welcome to the world. Companies use all these *ahem* clever sayings. It's just a way to sell their products so that any educated person will know what is going on, but the younger, impressionable youth will not be scarred. If you showed me a female hygiene commercial when I was 5, I wouldn't know what the hell it was. It's the same way with saying "penis" on national television. Parents wouldn't wan their kids exposed to this kind of material, so they companies find a way to disguise it to make it semi-family appropriate.

No. They are just stupid commercials that are terribly annoying. You know, sometimes when asking a question, your not always looking for an answer. And the RePHresh commercial is in no way trying to be kid friendly while being informative to adults...Its just being nasty...nasty in a way that warrants a ranting. Everything has a reason for being there, that doesn't mean its the kind of reasoning that should stop me from ranting about it. And I don't think a late late late night TV informercial on Comedy Central or Spike TV is censoring its use of the word penis for kids. They sure aren't censoring that porn star with the huge breasts that they interview asking if size really matters.

(Side note: There needs to be more pokemon slots. I want pikachu, but I also want psyduck. And I can't get rid of my other super awesome pokemon >_<)


You know what also sucks? TV Dinners. Basically any heart smart, health food, tray in a box is complete crap. Not only does it taste horrible, not only does it cost alot for that horrible crap, not only does the box depict a five start massively huge buffet...but its so very small. What wouldn't be heart smart when your body doesn't even know it ate anything? You have this little inch sized cube where they put a brownie...does anyone actually eat the microwaved, flashed frozen green beans? Then the 3 peices of meat they showed glazed with sauce piled onto each other in a cascading mountain of food...turns out to be 3 little bite sized dog snacks completely submerged and hidden by sauce. The best TV dinner I ever found was the XXL backyard BBQ from hungry man...but that got old fast.

Wait, how on earth do you know that? Have you ever been around a bunch of "drunken frat women?" (Which don't technically exist, actually..."fraternity" means brotherhood, women can't be in them, they're in sororities.) It would be completely relative depending on the certain women and men involved! And my personal experience, being in a crowd of drunk guys and girls...the guys are much more revolting.

I actually meant to say, to "ME" but typo'd and said "MEN".

Ohh, I see. Whoops, heh, sorry about that ^^;

Women need men?
For what? Fixing crap?

Technically, with cloning technology men wouldn't be biologically necessary anymore, and the only thing we'd need you for is construction and car repair. And I'm sure I could find some butch lesbians willing to do some of that.
What about the "natural male enhancement" commercials? Those are the epitome of sexual innuendo and suckiness on TV.