Sable's Lame Poems (Faces of Suits)

Sable Dove · **Posted:** Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:49 pm

I have ventured into the realm of poems (pseudo-poems, more like). So without any ado whatsoever, I present "Creative Anarchy," and "Creed."
http://sable-dove.deviantart.com/art/Cr ... y-92294062
http://sable-dove.deviantart.com/art/Creed-92478954

Don't worry; both are clean and short. I'm too lazy to make them longer.

Rekats Rovert · **Posted:** Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:58 am

Erg...I hate acting as a critic...(mainly cause, well, "Who am I? Nobody, that's who!!")

First off, the good:
Your use of romanticism I liked. It reminded me of Tolkien's songs that he uses in LOTR. Especially Creed. The former had a darker tone to it, and though not my thing, was still mildly enjoyable. It felt more like you had some longer tale to tell that shouldn't be being restrained by poetry. Try writing actual stories. (Granted, this doesn't work for everybody, but give it a shot, I think.) Also, I liked the repitition used in 'Creed'. My favorite of the two. :) Reminds me of a Jethro Tull song or two...

Erg, the bad:
It felt as if I had read these poems before. Kind of...redundant? I think that's the word I'm looking for. The themes used seem overused, but then again, I'm all about originality. I wouldn't call these 'lame', but I see potential improvement on the road ahead. =^.^=

Sable Dove · **Posted:** Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:19 pm

Thanks for reading, and more for giving feedback.I'll see what I can do about the negatives.

I do write stories (I actually have one in the story board, I've just hit a massive block), and I may go ahead with a new one soon, so keep your eyes open.

Rekats Rovert · **Posted:** Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:40 pm

I'll be sure to look for that story!
I've got some stuff up as well, but my poems (and stories, for that matter) usually don't get reviews often, even among my close friends. Just one of the benefits of being a loner, I guess.......

FastChapter · **Posted:** Sat Jul 26, 2008 12:42 am

Rekatsrovert wrote:

Erg...I hate acting as a critic...(mainly cause, well, "Who am I? Nobody, that's who!!")

Think of yourself less as a "critic" and more of a reader who would have liked to see X, Y, and Z happen differently. The best kind of critiques you can receive are from honest readers, not paid-by-the-letter critics.

Rekats Rovert · **Posted:** Sat Jul 26, 2008 1:22 am

FastChapter wrote:

Rekatsrovert wrote:

Erg...I hate acting as a critic...(mainly cause, well, "Who am I? Nobody, that's who!!")

Think of yourself less as a "critic" and more of a reader who would have liked to see X, Y, and Z happen differently. The best kind of critiques you can receive are from honest readers, not paid-by-the-letter critics.

Heh, okay thanks... :)

Sable Dove · **Posted:** Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:25 am

One more. I did it real quick, because I didn't want to go to sleep yet.
http://sable-dove.deviantart.com/art/Fa ... s-92906080
That will be all. G'night.

Rekats Rovert · **Posted:** Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:39 pm

Heh...I like this one :) The last line is cool.

Twokinds ARCHIVE Forums

Sable's Lame Poems (Faces of Suits)

Who is online