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Supposed to be a short story/poem like thingymahdoohicky.
But i'm not satisfied with it. I'm thinking of adding alot more or just maybe making it entirely a poem. So i guess you would say it was a Rough, Rough draft. When its as good as i want it to be, i plan on sending it to Microhorror (dot com) I would love for some suggestions, and if you haven't guessed already i suck at grammar, so some guidance in that department would help ALOT.


I can hear them at nights you know.
Their horrible clicks and wails.
I can see them at nights you know.
With their sharp glistening nails.
I can feel them at nights you know.
Ripping bits off my flesh.
Why cant i cry?
Cus, they've taken my eyes.
Why cant i scream?
Cus, They've taken my tounge.
Why cant i move?
Cus, they've taken my limbs.
Why cant i breathe?
Cus, i'm already dead.

Hmm...kind of depressing, but it is not bad. I am not a poet myself, but I will try to help.

I can see some of the grammar mistakes. Remember that "cannot" turn into "can't". You sometimes for get the ' between the "n" and the "t".

Also, in the 10th line, change "tounge" to "tongue". And "uncapitalize" the "t" in "They."

You need a title or description in the poem that tells me about what the poem is about. There's almost no imagery in the poem, so it's very difficult to understand.

Very dark and depressing.

I like. It leaves a lot to the immagination but also at the same time giving goosebumps.
:3

Freaky. Very creative.