Yash, I won't pretend to know exactly, or even abstractly understand your reasoning to why this was so traumatizing, but what I can say about all of this is that had I been put in a similar situation, while my actions may have varied, I believe that I too would have felt at the very least some kind of fear if I were experiencing this. A friend of mine once told me that Nightmares are the only things that can truly scare you to the point of submission. I wholeheartedly believe this. Your mind is your best friend, and your worst possible enemy. You share with yourself the best of your memories, but also the most disturbing and horrible thoughts. Only your mind can think of something that TRULY scares you, something that could push you off the edge, even to the point of insanity (not saying this instance has, just that it CAN). But it also can recall the best and most fond memories you've ever had the pleasure of experiencing, but even so, your mind can not live in just a relatively "peaceful" state, humans thrive on conflict. I guess this was just a manifestation of such a conflict.
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