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Chapter 1: Life in the City


Shinji's eyes opened slowly as he adjusted to his surroundings. A big street, people walked by him coldly, no one cared about him or his tale, he just sat there in the dark. People never change, they just think they do.


Shinji stood up and dusted off his white shorts and black shirt with two red stripes. He made sure his red headphone was on right before starting up his mp3 and started to listen to old, forgotten hits from decades past. As he walked through the streets as usual he felt this warm feeling, do you know it? The feeling that today is going to be different, something good will happen. Shinji knew today was such a day.


He walked through the streets impatiently, waiting for his special surprise.
His walk ended as he reached the park. He didn't like the park, it had the delicate smell of life, the smell he was trying to forget. He hesitated for minutes before carefully entering the park, as if a gun was pointed at him.


Trees, flowers, bushes and critters. 'Where is my surprise,?' Shinji thought to himself. The smell of life drifted pass his small nose, he started to remember things about his life. Ohh how long a life he has lived so far.' Don't journeys have a happy ending? Where is my happy ending? My road is infinite. I can't break out, I can't find a different path or a short cut.'

He stopped, a girl sat near a small group of roses. He carefully approached and sat behind her. He stretched his neck and looked over he shoulder, she followed her head as it turned, he looked as her hands tended to the flowers, such delicacy and caring, she treated them as if they were her children.

He smelled life all over her, a smell so nice and gentle he forgot the troubles of his eternal agony. He didn't notice she had turned her head around and saw him sitting behind her.

"Wh-Who are you,?" the girl asked surprised. Shinji was pulled back from his daydream in to reality. He was supposed to talk, how nostalgic, he hadn't talked to anyone for such a long time. "Hey there, I'm Shinji Yamaguchi, can I have your name?" She took something near her and clutched it to her chest. "I'm..Miko Matsumoto.. why are you sitting there?"

"I just figured you smelled nice," Shinji replied casually. "Wha-,?" Miko turned around and stood up. "Are you a pervert?" Shinji now saw what she was holding on to, it was a stuffed animal, a black cat to be exact. "Just because I complimented you doesn't mean I'm attracted to you," Shinji said as he stood up. Miko was a bit smaller then him, his eyes reached the top of the hat she was wearing.

"You're weird..," said Miko as she expected Shinji. "Black hair and red eyes, are you some creepy goth kid,?" Shinji raised an eyebrow in confusion, "I'm afraid I'm not following you, I don't care for what you young people call 'fashion'. I gave that up ages ago." Miko reached and pulled Shinji's cheek. "Young people? You look 15! I'm 16, I'm older then you," Shinji replied, "Do not judge a book by its cover."

Miko raised her shoulders, "You sure talk like an old man, and well I'm out of here." She started to walk away, not noticing Shinji followed her. Eventually she found out, "Shinji, why are you following me?" Shinji raised his shoulders, "Why shouldn't I? You are the first interesting person I met in ages."

"I'm going to my house and I'm not letting you in," Miko said coldly as Shinji still followed her. "Then I'll wait outside." Miko stopped. "It looks like it's gonna rain and I'm not coming out before tomorrow." Shinji seemed to be lost in thoughts for a moment before replying, "Well I've got no where to go anyways and I don't mind rain."

They arrived at Miko's house, "Have fun in the rain," she said as she slowly closed the door. "I will," Shinji said with a soft smile on his face.
An hour passed by and Shinji did not move from the spot where he stood before, he just listened to his music. Eventually the door opened again, "You are one persistent fellow.. okay come in but don't make a sound, my parents are out of town but I'm taking care of my little brother"

Shinji smiled as he walked in the house. "Ahh yes, this is what live in the city's all about."

and thus, the old mentor character or narrator is introduced.

I don't really get what your saying with that Arachnion.
:P

well, Shinji was introduced in the first sentence. He talks like an old man and has red eyes, so he might have a story to tell. otherwise, he's either the main character, or Miko's mentor character.

I see your point. It's main character by the way.
Is it fun to read? Are you interested in more?
I'm asking those questions since this was kind of an experiment with an idea I had for a while now.

well, I do want to read more of it, but looking over what you have...

...nothing interesting happens.

Shinji is emo, older than he looks, meets a girl, talks to her, follows her home. There doesn't seem to be any foreshadowing of doom or really anything, other than some people talking.

ye have yet to master the art of the "hook".

The hook is coming and I hope you'll bite.
Though it would make sense for it to happen in chapter one..
Guess I ran out of time :p

Chapter 2:Soul of the Immortal


Shinji entered the house and a warm feeling came over him. This house was the home of good people, he could sense it. "This house is beautiful," Shinji said as he walked in to the living room. Miko replied, "It's just a house like any other. So anyway, what now?" Shinji sat down in the couch in front of the television. "Now, I'll just observe you to make sure."


Miko went and lay next to him. "To make..sure?" She turned around and lay on her back. Shinji lowered his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's n-"
He stopped talking and stood up. "Damnit, they're here. I knew they'd be attracted to your smell." Miko looked confused, "Who's here? I don't see anybody."


"You can't see them, I hope you never will," Shinji said, his face more serious then before. He pressed the "play" button on his mp3 and put on his headphone. He seemed to take a certain stance. Miko could see something radiating from his hands, it looked like white flames. "You can probably see it. This is what I call soul. I am an immortalis, an immortal soul. These creatures that are invisible to you are called phantoms. They plant the seed of immortality in humans with a lot of life-force. Then they wait and reap their souls, turning them in to phantoms as well, cursed to hunt down immortals and humans with a lot of life-force. They are targeting you," Shinji explained.

The phantoms entered the room, Shinji counted them, "One, two, three.. three phantoms." He started to run to the closest one and threw a punch at it, the punch connected and the phantom flew through the walls and seemed to disappear in to thin air. The remaining phantoms flew towards him. Shinji jumped and took the first on out with a kick before dashing towards the other and punching it, finishing the job. The white flames on his hand disappeared.


"That was easy en-" He stopped talking as he saw the Reaper standing behind Miko. The Reaper is the creator of the phantoms, Shinji had encountered him a few times, each time was rather unpleasant. "Get away from her," he yelled in distress. Miko turned around and fell on the ground. "Wha-?"


Miko could see the Reaper, he was wearing a coat with a hood that covered most of his face. The man reached towards her head, she tried to struggle and crawl away, but was petrified by fear. The man's hand seemed to pierce her head as it went right through it. She suddenly felt very weak and tired. Then she fell in to darkness.

Shinji rushed towards her aid but the Reaper had already disappeared in to thin air. Only his voice could be heard, "The seed is planted. Miko Matsumoto is now immortal." He fell on his knees in front of her. "I'm sorry Miko, I couldn’t protect you from sharing the same fate as me.”

...you never bothered to describe the pahntoms....

but now miko gets to be a superhero, like Jack Harkness!

Sweet, someone else who watches Doctor Who :)
But let us not ramble over such things.
I intended for my readers to make up the phantoms in their head,
with their IMAGINATION.

For all I care they look like the Dalek. :lol:

ah. well then, you won't mind me imagining them like the drawing for the wraith in DnD. Reaper has class to use that sort of minion.

I'm sure something like that would suit them fine.

Chapter 3: Welcome to the Twilight


Miko opened her eyes. She felt tired. Her eyes slowly adjusted and she saw Shinji's face. Her head was resting on his lap; he had a sad expression on his face as he looked her in the eyes. "Shinji.. What happened?" She looked at him with a confused face. "You are now an immortal soul just like me and just like me; you are trapped in the Twilight."


Miko stood up, she now realised they were in the park again. It looked like the sun was slowly rising, but there was no sun on the horizon, she looked around, there were people on the streets, they looked like they were totally oblivious.

Shini stood up, "This place is the dimension between the real world and the afterlife. The reaper brought us here so he can use his phantoms to retrieve our life-force for him." Miko looked shocked by Shinji's explanation. "So basically ..we're just some kind of vegetables on his farm?"

She then realised her family would miss her. "But what about my family?"
Shinji sighed, "Everyone in the real world has lost their memories of you. We are like ghosts to them and they are like ghosts to us. Only people with a lot of life-force can be properly interacted with," Shinji explained with his eyes shut. "That's why you could see me and we could talk to each other."

Miko cursed as she took her doll out of her handbag. She hugged the doll tightly. "This isn't fair...I live only to die and become a phantom..no way out.." Tears started rolling from her eyes, down her cheeks and splattered on the hard ground.

Shinji tried to reach out and comfort her but stopped. "Miko I... Miko I swear that I will find a way out of this place for you," he took his head phone off for the first time and hugged her. "I'll make sure you get your life back."

End of chapter 3~

"Hey, we're trapped in a world where no one notices us. crap."
"let's go steal stuff!"

well, I know that if i was in a similar situation, the answer would involve weapons. Also, what happens if miko, say, stabs a normal person in the face? And are there downsides to being a phantom?

oh, and thank you for finally updating. Yeah, that's a pretty crummy situation to be in.

Unless that person has a lot of life-force, she wouldn't be able to interact with him/her. And the downside to being a phantom is that you'll live in a body that eternal agonizes you and forces you under the reaper's control.

I now get the feeling the phantom's are somewhat like the ringwraiths in those terms.