Your text was mostly simple statements. It would be quite good to adapt into storyboard or comic panels, but well... I feel it's kinda boring as-is.
So I'm thinking you may want to make stuff a bit more interesting. Note that, I'm not good at writing either, and this probably could still use more revision.
Quote:
November 18, 2060. It was calm, like always, in the space around the green planet Telis. A small destroyer-class ship was orbiting around the planet. Nick Pulsar, the young pilot and owner of this ship, was sitting in the cockpit, with his boots rested on the console, waiting for the docking procedures to commerce. The ship was named Wrath by Nick for its combat capabilities, even if it's only originally designed for space and atmosphere travel.
From the window, Nick can see the planet, covered in a shining halo that is the atmosphere, against a backdrop of the starry universe. He can see the red beacons for the docking station flashing. The vehicle was quiet, there was only a small noise from the engine. It was very peaceful, just like how the pilot wanted.
But the silence was broken by an alarm. "Warning, hyperdrive signature detected, distance: 2,000 GU." Within a split second, a Saur ship emerged out from the hyperspace, its weapons pointing at the Wrath. Nick immediately cancelled the docking commands and engaged the weapon systems, but the Saur ship has already begun firing. From the console, Nick sent out a distress signal towards the planet for help, while the ship began to fire back. ...
English is a second language for me and I usually get bad scores on writing.
Oh well.
Still, it does sound like an interesting story.