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Okay wow I just seem to be the thread maker today... Phew. Alright well... here goes.

My Flora is pregnant. She's happy about it, being her second kid. Her fiance, is also happy about it. It's his first child and he really loves her and couldn't be happier.
They're engaged to be married.

Anywho, here's where the issue comes in. Her Trace, talked to a friend of his, who told him to tell her to get an abortion because he is going to ruin his life. Trace doesn't want Flora to get an abortion. He loves the idea of having a child and is really hoping it's a girl. Well he shared what his friend had said to Flora, and now Flora is depressed.

They both want to have a kid, but so called friend put doubts into his head. His emotions on the entire thing have been crazy to begin with.
He's happy because it'll be his first child, but afraid he won't be a good Father since he never had a real Father. He's also afraid that things won't end well. He's seen so many relationships fall apart because of a child, but he wants to have his family. He loves Flora with all his being.

I told him that he and Flora should have the baby. Getting an abortion would leave them both with that guilt for a long time. They're both really happy about it, and that they shouldn't let other peoples experiences make up their minds. They can afford another child too.

That's how I feel about it.

Am I right or am I wrong? What should I say to these two? They're both my good friends, I'd hate for them to make a mistake.

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with 2Kinds, but events of real life. Their names are being protected. And my friend has gotten me into calling her Flora and him Trace since they both love TwoKinds.

I say if they can afford it and want it, have it. You never know how things will turn out and maybe it will be for the better for them to have the baby. Experience grows as the children do, trust me. Tell him not to worry about being the world's best dad but just the best he can be.

The friend he mentioned was on the guest list. I just scribbled him out xD

Nobody's sure they'll be a good father. That's part of being a good father -- always trying to do better. It sounds to me like he's off to a good start. Yes, children are a stress on a relationship and on people, especially for kids your age. But like muscles, relationships grow stronger after stress, not weaker, not if you're working on it.

His friend is an idiot. You can quote me on that. You may also feel free to substitute stronger language; goodness knows I'm thinking it. This might be an earlier start on the family than your friends intended, but they've got their heads in the right place. I knew it as soon as you said he was marrying the girl. Shotgun or no, it's the right choice, and it marks him as man. Being a man isn't about possessing dangly-parts. It's about facing your responsibilities, standing up, and accepting them. Once you are a man, having a child does not ruin your life. It does not diminish your existence. Your child enriches your life. Your child gives you new reason to wake each day, a new reward for every moment. Yes, your life is changed. Everything is irrecoverably different. But every moment of life is different from the last, and to grow, we must become different than we once were. The difference between your friend, "Trace," and his friend is that Trace is a man but his friend is merely a boy. He lives for himself and does not understand living for someone or something else. Trace has begun to see this, feel it, understand it, and soon he will grok it entirely.

Your friend not alone in this world. Every man walks the path he is stepping onto now. Every man stumbles on the walk. I do not know his family life, but you mention that "he never had a real Father." Then things are harder for him, but not impossible. He might not have a biological father to turn to for advice and aid, but if he goes looking, he can find other men glad to help him become the father he will be. He needs not listen to the boys any longer.

Mark my words well -- this will not be easy. There will be times of frustration, moments where he has an ounce of regret. But these will pass. It will be hard, but when he sees his child smile, all doubt will disappear from his mind. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. It will be hard, but no true man lives an easy life. It will be hard, but he has the strength to do it.

yeah, what he said :?

This probably will result in a stable relationship, or at least from what I can divine. Most of the divorce/breakup causing problems have been mitigated by other factors, so statistically they should be OK.

I'm just glad they aren't just staying together becauseof the child. That can turn really ugly, really fast. Good luck with them on that though.

On another note, I can't help but recall that you said you were the wedding planner in another thread. If so, let me take this oprotunity to delight in future frustrations.

mmmmmmm...

Well, I'm done. Good luck to you and your freinds.

Thanks Spiff. The wedding planning stuff is... hectic. Especially on such a thin budget.

And avwolf, if you don't mind, I'd like to show him what you said. I don't think I could've put it in better words.

I sent both of them a text earlier seeing if they were okay and they both responded, at the same time, a yes, so hopefully things will be okay when I talk to them this afternoon.

Feel free. If I minded, then I'd not have put them in a public forum. :)

Give them both my best, and good luck with that wedding planning. I was mostly insulated from the planning for my brother's wedding and even I knew it was a crazy, crazy time.

xD

Yeah it is a bit crazy. That's why I need to talk to them tonight. The budget is going to go up. Catering is not cheap.

Anyways back to discussing the baby. Is it strange that the night before she and I found out she was pregnant, that we both had a dream that she was giving birth to a baby girl in winter?

And she's due between December and January maybe even Feburary?

D***! Every word I was going to say Avwolf said for me and alot better than how I was going to say it. I guess the only thing that I can say is is congratulations to your friends. You know, sometimes I wonder if Avwolf is on a debate team. Most of his posts seem to be well built and thought out.

Thanks for the on-going support guys. I can't wait to show them all this. If this doesn't make them feel better then I don't know what will xD

Keep the words coming if you can!

I'm liking that they both love 2K... I wish my best friends read 2k. I've been trying to get them to read it, because I know they'll like it, but...

Anyways, on topic. Oh, Friend shall be referred to as Keith, as I see many parallels here...

No way should Trace or Flora listen to Keith. I do not think Keith is trying to be malicious. Rather, I believe Keith has had bad experiences with something child-related in the past, which has either spoiled a relationship, or scarred him in some other way. However, if Trace listens to Keith, and he and Flora decide to go with his advice, then bad things will happen, including me crying. So please don't listen to Keith!

Okay, that was my pathetic attempt at a 2K analogy. But seriously, I would do anything to avoid it. I'm just a kid, but hey, looks like most of the older people here agree, so I'd say I'm not too far off...

=^.^=

No. No Keith. Keith is good remember?

How about... hmn... Red McDeathsteak?

xD

Him being all... Anti-Kedrian and all... ne?

Yes. Red McDeathsteak :D

And you're actually right about Red McDeathsteak's past. Good job.