Twokinds ARCHIVE Forums

Post antics of any past RPs you've been in. Any funny instances that have happened to you. Be it a humurous character or situation.

One that sticks out in my mind for me.

My friend was DMing an FFRP that was based of D&D. Now I was a elven thief, and the only other person was a Dragoon Ronso. I tended to get on many poeples nerves, and would get slapped. It happened so often that I died a few times (it was a mock, so the characters remained the same). So shortly after, everytime I annoyed someone, there was a check, followed by a quick "You die, roll a new character sheet!"

[Stickied because we all need a good laugh sometimes. :P Please add more if you have more.]

I prefer the story of a Paranoia player on their last clone. He was getting really paranoid of everything. So, the team leader says to throw a probability grenade down an empty, but crumbling, hallway. (Probability grenades create random objects when they go off) It splits into 4 more. They go off, revealing an Ultraviolet High Programmer, A ton of bricks, a clip of Dum-Dum shells, and 4 more grenades. They go off, creating another programmer, and 3 normal frag grenades. The frag grenades kill the high programmers. So now that he's guilty of the highest possible treason, he decides to suck on his laser pistol. He rolls a 1, and misses. So now that the hall is in worse shape, everyone crosses but our paranoid fool. He throws another probability grenade with the pin still in. It hits the team leader in the head, which is when the pin falls out, and it turns into a Tac Nuke, wiping out all three of the party members. They all fail the mission, as the paranoid one carried the essential note that they needed to deliver. Debriefing was... entertaining.

Back in the good ol' days...
-"You walk through the door- the mage dies"

-"Man you should have seen this guy! He was so Tall!"
--Group Unison "How tall was he!?"
-"Um well *looks at character sheet* he was 8 feet tall."
--"I dont get it."
---"Yeah you suck"
----"And to think i thought he was funny"
-----"Yeah- lets go find a halfling and pick on him and then go flirt with some hot elven gals!"
-"Yeah!"

-"Wait a second- you mean to tell me- you killed- a dragon, with a book?"
--"Actually it was a page from the book"
-"But-- its paper"
--"Yeah - and we all agreed that we would use the instant death rule- 3 natural 20's on an attack roll = instant death unless its immune to critical hits..."
-"Fine i'll start rolling up the treasures..."
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If yall like these i'll post more later-- ive got nearly 10 years of RP stories ^_^

Heh good ones Sage.

Though some of my personal favorites

"Congradulations, you're the first person to kill a dragon with your foot"

or...

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketcup.

-"Wait a second-- what does he look like?"
DM--"From what you can tell -- its a talking hat... a wide brim blue hat with a large white feather in the top."
- "ok - out of character-- which one of you though of such a stupid look for a character?"
Philip - "Its not stupid! Its cool! A halfling with a huge hat! And i can fly! What more could you want?"
-"Maybe something helpful to the party!"
Phil- "Oh my character so hates your character now!"
- "So what?"
--(other player)--- "Dude- hes the cleric..."
----------------------------------

DM-"Ok, everyone in this group you made has some magical abilities, we have 2 wizards, a sorcerer, a cleric, and a theif who is taking wizard as a secondary class-- what the heck are yall planing on doing?"
--"We are going to make lots of money!'
DM-"How?"
--"We are going to start a candy shop!"
DM-"A candy shop? How?!"
--"Phil has been reading up on spells again- he found out that prestidigitation has many uses!"
DM-"oh god not again...what about the story i have planned!?"
--"Lots of money will help when we decide to save the world!"
----------------------------------

"Shoot it!! Shoot it now!!!"
-"Dang it! my Gun jammed! Use your side arm!"
"I'm all out of ammo!"
Shop keep - "Excuse me - please pay for your supplies now or i will call the cops"
-"There is some ammo on the back shelf! Go get it and hurry!"
GM - "You arent really going to go into combat with the store owner are you?"
"I got the ammo!"

ok me and my friends were playing the sunless citadel module and were going down some cliffs with ropes. it just so happens the first one to go was our thief who went down to a ledge. but then she was viciously attacked by dire rats and some normal ones. the i, being the tank, went down to save her. but as i climbed down i failed my climb check and fell ontop of her breaking my fall. at t his time of falling on her her health went from 4 out of 6 to -1. the others soon followed and we fought them back and were forced to heal up after the debacle back in town. we payed for our stay by our crazy bard named CATHAR THE INSANE!!!!! (hes evil i tell you EVIL!!)

When this happened, I was new to RP and all, so I commonly screwed up alot.

Here's the scenario:
A group of three, a druid, a paladin, and a thief (ME)
We were in a forest, attempting to get past these two people guarding something (I'll leave it at something to not get too into it)

With me being the thief, I was leading the group and was the first to attempt to sneak by. I rolled and ended up stepping on a small twig, which made a snapping noise. Normally, this isn't a problem, except this time it was followed by a "GOD DAMNIT!!!" from me, not realizing I was still in-character.

I ended up getting brutally beaten by the guards while my friends watched...
XD

I have A funny LARP story from V:TM

Me and two buds were talking in front of the meeting hall, and we witnessed a fight between to vampires. Unbeknown to our characters, one of the vamps had four allies helping him using super speed so nobody could see them. Our characters witnessed the one vamp hit the other one once before he died and turned to ash.
Later, inside the meeting hall, in front of all the vampires in the city, the 'prince' asks if anybody saw the vampires who were fighting. We all replied as follows:
me - 'sir, we saw both of them, arguing about 30 minutes ago.'
Prince - 'where did they go?'
bud 1 - 'um...they didn't go anywhere.'
Prince - (looks around) (annoyed) 'Then where are they?'
bud 2 - 'I'd rather not say sir. They go into a tiff, and, well...'
Prince - 'Go ahead, tell me what happened.'
Bud 2 - 'well, sir....it went like this....'
Bud 1 - 'They got into a fight, and he hit him....'
Me - 'ONCE'
Bud 2 - 'And he DIED. That's right, fellow bloodsuckers, he was hit once, and died. I don't care where he went, we went the opposite way."

The delivery was perfect on the 'And he DIED' line, that everyone had to stop for 10 mintes to laugh.

that's 1 story down. Gimmie time to think.

Did you take my signature Azure_wolf?

Actually, that's a very well known joke, very old as well. Put this thread up there AGES before you signed up for the forum. Back when the RP board was brand new actually... So no, no I didn't.

This thread was around long before you even got here. XD

woops! So I noticed. :oops:

lol

Okies folks, back on topic. ^^ Tis a thread for pointing out RP hilariousness, not for random accusations.

I have a lot, mostly from LARPs, mostly with Eo. Sorry, Eo, but when you're trying to be angsty, DON'T THROW A BOOK AT A FAIRY! Anyways, these all where at my house, in my bedroom.

(Last year, my b-day party)
Aleera (an elf princess), Matfur (ME), Diradrea (a fae), and Oakleaf (Eo) are trapped in an elfish city being attacked by wolves. Everyone thinks Matfur is annoying at this point.
Matfur, to Aleera: stupid human...
Aleera: Shut up before I have my guards chop off your head!
Mat: They can try but they will not avail!
Diradrea: Why, be your neck made of steel?
Mat: Be my SWORD made of steel!
Oakleaf: That was a f***ing awesome line!

Oak, Ooc: Will someone say 'despair' so I can say this poem?
Dira, IC: Oh, this world is full of DESPAIR...
Oak, IC: *throws my text book at Dira* NOT YET, IDIOT!

(last year, after school)
The mage, Zeta (played by me) has just found out the the girl he loved (and murdered), Marushka (played by my friend), has been reincarnated, and has been talking to her and getting on her nerves. She goes to his apartment and finds him half-naked, with markings drawn on him in pig blood. They get into an argument.
Marushka: *Slaps Zeta*
Zeta: Stop it, you're messing up the pig's blood!!!
Marushka: *slap*
Zeta: ARE YOU DEAF, WOMAN????

(Only a few weeks ago, at about three in the morning)
Eo is dressed as her character Erik and laying on my bed, which is a 'tomb' in a 'graveyard' which is my room. I am rping as Thornwhistle, who is watching Erik. It is very quiet and moody.
Erik, Ooc: Okay, so basically, Erik starts fondling the tomb.
Thorn, IC: .... wait a minute... GET OFF MY BED!!!! OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!